Love Still The Only Dream I Know
by xWonderxWomanx
Summary: Donna miss like crazy the only man she ever loved, and wakes up one morning dreamimg with the wedding she thought would never have.
1. Chapter 1

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**Love Still The Only Dream I Know**

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*

To my friends.

*

_I love you, babe. I love you_

Donna moved her head and shook herself out of her sleep, not opening her eyes as the sun wasn´t merciful hitting her soft skin. She had heard his voice again, and it have been so real it hurt.

Sam Carmichael.

One year without thinking of him, and now, she didn´t understand how or why did this odd fantasy sneaked into her head. Sophie calling off her wedding. Tanya and Rosie running to stand by her side. Everything going so confuse…

And then, it happened. As smooth and natural as destiny, that plain and simple. As fast as sudden light and illumination. He kneeled, with his charming smile, that smile that held her captive from the very first time, extending his hand to her and holding a ring. Yes, a RING. And begging her to marry him.

She didn´t have time to give it a second thought. She was fully and undeniably in love. Madly in love. And before she could finish saying _I do_, she had jumped over him, stealing that kiss she had longed for so many years. She was burning for him since the moment he suddenly re-appeared, to the point she couldn´t even breathe when he was close. Oh, there was no point denying she had never forgotten him. Never before had she wanted anyone so badly. It wasn´t a soft, slow kiss, as a first touch after such a long time could let you suppose. Her lips were firey and sensual over his, and their kiss quickly grew deeper and hypnotic; she let out a slight moan at the alluring sensation of his tongue sliding into her mouth. She was lost in desperation and if he had tried to take her just there, in front of everyone, she wouldn´t have had the will power to stop him.

But instead, he pulled apart with a soft, delighting move, grabbing her chin gently and tightening the grip of his hand around her waist to pull her closer.

"Now, that was nice, Mrs. Carmichael"

Hearing him calling her like that and being so possessive over her, raised a million unknown butterflies in her stomach and made her giggle. And seeing the sweet loving look of pure adoration in his eyes, those gorgeous sea-blue eyes she was lost in, brought sweet tears to her eyes.

That´s how she woke that morning: hot tears washing down her cheeks and the hurtful felling of something huge missing by her side in every breath. Trying to come to terms with reality again, to face the hard day she had ahead, she extended her hand to the other side of the bed, which she expected to be froze and empty. _Sam…_

An electric wave made her jolt when she tripped with a warm body and a pair of soft lips burned her hand with a tender kiss.

She pulled the sheets up with her hands around her body and jumped to sit straight. He was there.

She blinked and looked again.

He was still there, sitting by her side on her bed and actually smiling. A wave of emotion ran through her shivering body, and she smiled too, not knowing what to think.

"I´m here babe" he mumbled, squeezing her hand.

The sheets slid away from Donna´s other hand, and looking downwards she found herself completely naked.

Shaking her head, she placed her hands on his cheeks to touch him and prove he was real, she wasn´t insane.

"What´s wrong darling?" he asked, a concerned look flashing in his eyes "Do you regret what happened last night?"

She laughed, overwhelmed by joy and jumped over her husband, pushing him against the bed, before meeting his lips in a slow, yet hungry kiss and just as passionate at each one they shared the night before.

She broke apart and met his gaze, tears escaping her eyes again when she saw the happiness her touch had brought.

"Does that feel as if I had ANY regret, sweetheart?"

He squeezed her rear and she shrieked, hiding her face on the crease of his neck and surrendering to the temptation of kissing his manly scented neck.

"Not, at all, Mrs. Carmichael"

Donna just smiled at the words and the way they had warmed her heart.

"God, I think if I´m still this happy tomorrow, my heart will burst"

"Don´t even think about it, because this is how you´ll wake every morning" he said softly, showering her neck and her jaw with butterfly kisses, until he met her lips in another passionate consuming kiss.

Donna broke apart when more giggles burst inside her body, looking lovingly at him and caressing his cheek with her palm.

"Did you sleep well, honey?"

"Like a baby. Thanks to you, I haven´t have a night like that in ages!"

"A night like that, huh?" he grinned, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh, don´t start getting naughty on me, Carmichael" she blurted, faintly blushing and looking away.

Indeed she had had the most wonderful time of her life, but was afraid he wouldn´t find it that good.

She flinched under his fingers stroking her hair and looked back at him. Her heart lifted when she saw in eyes the same marvelous look she remembered from the church. He still loved her, and he was still thinking she was amazing.

"You know, I didn´t get any sleep at all"

"Why?" Donna asked startled, cuddling against his welcoming body and sliding her right leg between his legs, smiling when he instantly wrapped his arms around her body to hold her close and planted a tender kiss on her forehead, that lead her to meet his bewitching blue eyes and devilishly charming smile.

"I spent the whole night looking at you, I have been enchanted by your breath-taking beauty. Don´t you know, you´re beyond beautiful?"

"Aww, you´re such a sweet liar" she replied kissing his lips and giggling as she leaned closer to whisper on his ear "I´ve heard you snoring"

"Oh, you´re a tricky minx, baby…" he smirked, rolling to be on top of her.

"ME?! What about YOU, my handsome devil" she answered, wrapping her arms around his neck and playing with his hair.

For a row of long silent minutes, they stared devotedly into each other eyes. She bit her lower lip, flinching with anticipation and approached his lips slowly, when they heard the door fling open with a bang.

Looking into the sound´s direction, they found a startled Tanya standing frozen and holding two fizzy glasses of champagne in her hands. Instantly, she shook her surprise away and grinned.

"Oh, I didn´t thought you turned on the heating this early here, darling"

"Oh my God, what are you doing here woman?!" Donna demanded laughing "I´m in the middle of a _risky_ business…"

"I´m sorry" the brunette apologized, walking in to handle the champagne to her friend and her new husband "I forgot… I guess I´m just used to you being single. Forty years is quite a long time, you lovebird"

"Shit, Tanya! You forgot the happiest day of my life?"

"Ok, ok, that was an excuse. I just pretended to drag you out, but it seems there´s no chance I could do so"

"Not at all" Sam replied, holding her against him behind the sheets and making his intentions clear to his wife, while planting a gentle kiss on her cheek.

"And where´s Rosie?" Donna asked, resting against her husband´s chest.

"Well… she never checked in back last night. I think, she wants to keep up the pace with you"

"You´re naughty, Tanya!" Donna shrieked, throwing a pillow at her "Now back off and let me get finished here"

She leaned back to place a long sensual kiss on her husband´s lips.

Even if she wasn´t the type of woman that will talk her feelings out of her chest, it warmed the dynamo´s heart to see her friend so terribly happy. She have never felt that way with any of her husbands, or never have she been so in love.

"Yeah, Donna, that will be until the next ice age if I wait for you to get _finished_ here" Tanya blurted out laughing and closed the door walking away.

"Cheers" Donna smiled, clinking her glass with his "To my gorgeous husband, the man who made me happy"

"Cheers. To my beautiful wife, the only woman I want"

A soft kiss and the champagne disappeared with a sip.

Donna rested on her back again and sighed through the widest smile that could bloom on her face. Sam laid on his side next to her, resting on his elbow and running his fingers delicately through the lines of her body until it came to a stop on her navel and she stared back at him.

"Just in case you´re crazy enough to doubt it woman, you´ve been perfect last night"

She felt her eyes go teary at the sweetness and thoughtfulness of his words, and placed her hand on his, to hold it over her belly. She smiled at the view of certain satisfaction still lingering in his eyes.

"Thank you. It was heavenly, indeed. But speaking about last night, I´ve been thinking of something…" she said, her voice trailing off with doubt.

"What is it, precious?"

"Is just that, we were both so eager last night that none of us thought about using protection and I realized that I am not too old to have a baby, I´ll be only 40 next week. What… do you think?"

"Donna… are you saying… you want a child with me?" he asked startled, and taking both her hands in his. She said yes with her head, raising his hands to brush her lips.

"A family with you, and to be with you, is everything I´ve wanted those 21 years, despite the fact I´ve been trying to convince myself otherwise. I know it will be difficult. I know or marriage will have its ups and downs. I´m old enough to know that. I am scared. But I also know I love you insanely and I think… it is worth giving it a try"

"I don´t know what to say, Donna, except that… I love you" he answered, pulling her closer to wrap his arms around her, stroking her back and her hair.

Donna´s restrained emotion finally washed down her cheeks.

"You don´t have to say anything, if you love me that´s enough for me"

Still holding her with one hand, he grabbed her chin with the other one to plant a sweet loving kiss on her lips and look into her green eyes again.

"I think you didn´t understand me, honey. You´re the only woman I ever wanted to be the mother of my children and I want us to have as many kids as you want. I´m just startled because… I was dreading you wouldn´t want to, and this is… the most wonderful surprise for me"

"Oh, my, I am speechless now. Please, PLEASE tell me this is not a dream and that you´ll never leave me again"

"Donna, I´m not going anywhere without you again. You´re stuck with me forever and I hope you like the perspective" he kissed her forcefully and pushed her back against the bed, placing himself on top of her body "Now, will you let me make love to you?"

"Oh, I thought you´ll never ask"

*

There´s more to come if you review!


	2. Chapter II: A Moment To Die For

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Chapter II: A Moment to Die For

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_I´m sorry, I´ll have to skip a year for the sake of the story!__ :P_

_Thanks for the great reviews! :D Mwahs!__ You requested it and you got me writing ;)_

_To Liv__ (Mwahs and tight hugs hun, hope your arm will feel better soon and also kisses for the lil boy!) and Gwen (Thanks for the reviews, they really put a BIG smile on my face, and of course you´ve heard it before: because you just may get it!) , love ya girls! ^^_

_And at last but not least, __**M alert**__ you people! And I think it is twisted, so you have been warned of what are you going to get into. I mean it. (As if that will stop you, lol). To Shanice, because I know the drama won´t keep you from enjoying xxxx._

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Donna woke feeling strangely sick and heavy, extending her hand to the side of the bed where her husband should be sleeping and surprised to find it empty. Her heart skipped a bit, when she imagined she could find herself alone again. She didn´t want that. She wouldn´t have the strength to cope with that. But before she could open her eyes, she heard the door closing and smiled.

Just like the first night, she had been dreaming with her gorgeous husband the whole year they had been married. And every day, the same wave of joy hit her when she woke to find him by her side. Every time and every night, he had gone beyond every wish and expectation to satisfy her and had given her the most beloved things in her life. All she hoped, was that her presence in his life was as wonderful as he managed to make her feel every minute. She wanted to be the most special dearest thing he had, and not just… his second wife.

"Good morning sweetheart. Happy anniversary" Donna smiled, opening her eyes to adjust to the light and look at him, while he walked to sit by her side.

Trying to sit, Donna groaned and placed a hand on her huge bump to try and make the movements easier. All night long, she had been to the bathroom and throwing out, to a point she couldn´t stand it anymore. She couldn´t understand why the sickness was suddenly back at this stage of her pregnancy, such a thing have not happened to her the first time.

"Happy anniversary to you too, babe" he answered, kissing her softly.

"Good lord, how did this happen?" she sighed, placing her hands on her huge belly while looking at it.

"Do you need me to explain it?" he grinned, placing the tray next to her.

"I guess I don´t, but I´m sure I can enjoy it if you show me"

"You´re a tricky minx" he laughed, stroking her hair sweetly and pulling it away from her face.

"And that´s why you love me" she smiled, wrapping her arms around his neck and placing a delicate kiss on his lips.

"I do. I love you so much darling"

"I love you too" she barely whispered, breathing heavily and fanning her face with her hand, clearly lacking of air, placing her other hand on her chest. It had been hurting for a while and she couldn´t figure out why.

"Are you alright?" Sam asked, placing his hand on her forehead to see if she was feverish.

"Yes, I think so. It must be just the baby. Strange, I never felt like this with Sophie"

"Sweetheart, too many things were different with Sophie" he answered, caressing her cheek and staring into her eyes, until she smiled and rested her hand over his to take it tenderly.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Whatever you want, my lovely"

"Are you happy with me? Am I a good wife? Am I better that _she_ was? Am I anything but just your _second_ wife?"

"That´s not something, it´s a lot of things" he laughed, gently pressing his lips against her forehead "And it doesn´t make sense, at all. Just at the very moment you said _I do_, you made me happier than Lorraine ever did. I never truly loved her Donna, because it was you the only one I always thought about. You measured up to all my very high expectations- in all departments you shady lady - and you´re not just my second wife, you're the only wife I ever wanted"

"My goodness" she giggled "You mean it? You make me sound like a goddess"

"You are"

Donna shook her head in silence, blushing hot crimson, and he placed her finger under her chin for her to meet his gaze.

"I love it when you blush; you look beautiful, as this"

Sam smiled, handing her the bunch of bright roses he had been hiding behind himself until then.

"O.M.G.! Is this for me?" she shrieked, covering her mouth with her hands and blinking to hold her tears.

"No, they are for the baby, so I hope it´s a girl" he said smiling, as she took the flowers and wiped a lonely tear from her face, cuddling them as if they were really the child she was expecting.

"I am so anxious I can´t wait anymore" she giggled.

"I know, it will be soon enough darling"

Distractedly, he placed a hand on her bump, over her silky nightgown, and suddenly jumped startled, causing her to laugh.

"That was a quick!"

"Tell me about it. YOUR child managed to keep me awake all night long. No surprise I am still tired" she ended yawning.

"MY child? Is that how it´s going to be? Do I have to remind you that the baby is still inside of YOU?"

"NO, you don´t. I should remind you that you´re the bastard who put the little one in there!"

"I was indeed, but I don´t remind hearing your complains at the moment, it was more something like: _Oh, my God, you´re amazing_, or _I´m so close, go… deeper_, or _Please, that´s not hard enough_"

Staring at Sam open-mouthed, Donna took her pillow and hit him as hard as she could, resulting in her husband bursting out laughing.

"Stop saying those things" she shrieked, laughing too when he jumped on her, tickling her sides "The baby will hear"

"I´m only quoting you darling, but it´s definitely turning me on"

"Oh, it is? You´re a very bad man Mr. Carmichael"

"That´s your naughty influence only, baby" he replied, kissing her deeply.

"I´ll gladly give you the privilege of carrying the baby for the next two months if you want to… I manage to keep going only because I love you both so much"

"I would accept, if it wasn´t for the fact being pregnant makes you look sexier and I like it" he whispered, placing her finger on the neckline of her nightgown, to peer down at her impressive cleavage that had lately grown double the size.

"You sweet talker" she said, slapping his hand away and pushing him backwards, to sit over her husband in a straddling position and leaning to place a slow sensual kiss on his lips. Breaking apart, she pulled the comfy black silk out of her body and looked down to meet his eyes, now glassy and showing that glint that told her they were thinking the same "I will make you pay for that"

"What are you doing woman?" he asked in a husky voice, when her hands slowly and seductively trailed the way down his chest to untie his robe.

As an answer, Donna leaned forward and placed a hot passionate kiss on his lips, winning access in an instant and giving him everything she had. Breaking for air, she started trailing teasing kisses across his jaw and neck, all the way down his chest to his waistband, giggling every time she heard him moan. He flinched under every touch, and knowing herself so wanted made Donna feel even more aroused.

"You relax and enjoy, cowboy"

"As long as you promise not to tell my wife"

"Oh, you have a wife? I pity the poor woman" she whispered sexily, grinning at the thought of what she was about to do.

"Woman, you drive me crazy" he muttered in a gasp, when she started to place soft kisses all the way up his inner tight in the right sensitive places. He ran his hand trough her hair and grabbed the steel bar of the bed to steady himself, already tensing in anticipation at what he knew she was going to do. He was hard and she definitely enjoyed proving she could turn him on so fast.

Until they heard the phone started ringing, loud and clear.

She sighed and lifted her head to meet his gaze. His eyes glazed, he lifted himself on his elbow and moved his hand from her golden curls to place it under her chin.

"Please let it ring, babe"

"Sam, don´t do this AGAIN, please. I´ve told you a million times I can´t ignore the Hotel calls. Plus, it can be our daughter" she said, in a tone a bit harder than she intended and moved to pick up the call, but he took the phone in his hands and moved it away, so she couldn´t reach it.

"Donna, is our damned first anniversary and you can´t spend five minutes with me?"

Rolling her eyes, she picked the receiver abruptly, saying "hi"

Open mouthed, he gestured telling her that he would disconnect the line, but before she can give him the icy look she pretended, she couldn´t hold a loud scream.

"Sophie! Where are you baby girl? I want you here!"

Sam knew that one was a call he couldn´t cut. Seeing the excitement in her face, he couldn´t help to smile and crawl to sit behind her, wrapping his arms around her swollen body and resting his hands on her bump, to place a soft teasing kiss on her neck, making her giggle. He was mad because she didn´t give up to his wish, and having the phone ringing every time the heating was on between them was really upsetting. But there was something on her flawless beauty and her bright smile that he couldn´t be mad for long. Anyway, they wouldn´t keep up things where they left it otherwise.

"Mom, are you with dad?" Sophie asked, rolling her eyes when she heard the giggling.

"Of course I am honey" Donna said smiling and turning to place a soft kiss on his lips "What do you expected?"

"No comments"

"What do you mean, young lady?" Donna replied, feigning to be mad and making Sophie burst out laughing.

"You never have enough, right? Anyway, I called to say you got your wish. I´m on the mainland now and I´ll take the ferry in a while. I should be there by noon"

"You´re not saying! You coming? Oh… my God! I can´t wait to see you! I´ve missed you so much!"

"I missed you too mom, but I DON´T think you have had the time to do so"

"STOP there young lady. That´s not something I want to discuss right now. But hurry, there are big news awaiting for you here" she added with a wide smile and placing her hand lovingly on her bump.

"News? I guess there´s no way you´ll tell me now. I´ll see you soon, I can´t wait to be back. I love you mom. I do"

"I can´t wait neither honey. I love you more, to the moon and back"

"Aw, mom, you don´t say that to me since I was a child"

"You´ll always be my baby girl"

"I hope so. Bye!"

And the line went dead.

"Bye!" Donna smiled, sighing and taking in the deep feeling of nostalgia her daughter´s voice always brought to her when they spoke. She had a new life and Sophie wasn´t a little girl anymore, now someone else was about to step into the world and she had to come to terms with both facts. But a thought lightened on her mind and she immediately froze.

"Gosh, I am such a terrible mother!" she said, swallowing hard and blinking to fight her tears.

"Why would you be a terrible mother?" he asked in utter surprise, and placing a gentle kiss on her cheek "You´re wonderful sweetheart, and you´ve only given Soph the best as I know you will do with our new baby too"

"Thank you" she said, placing a loving kiss on his lips "Thank you. But what I mean is… Sky. Sophie said SHE would take the ferry to be here by noon, and… I didn´t ask about him"

"And obviously… she didn´t want to tell yet babe. She probably wants to talk to you personally and is now relieved you didn´t ask. I would even say, don´t try to pull her to say it as soon as she get here. Let her settle it down and come to you. She will. You´re not a bad mother, you are just excited to see her again"

"Aw, that´s why I love you so so much"

"I love you too" Sam smiled, brushing her lips gently.

Donna sighed and wiped the single tear running down her face, looking at her belly and intertwining their fingers. She had missed her daughter even more than she thought she would. It was all true that Sophie left, leaving Sam with her, but there were different loves and different spaces and none of them could compensate the lack of the other. Now she had heard, the girl would be back for her anniversary, Donna felt in utter bliss, with a happiness and relieve running through her bloodstream she had never felt before. The day Sophie left, she thought she had lost her daughter forever. Knowing she was on her way back, was only close to a miracle for the loving mother.

Far was Donna from knowing, she would never get to see her daughter again.

"I am, so happy right now. I can´t believe Sophie is back, you love me and we have this little one on the way"

"So am I. So after a whole year, you don´t have any regret about marrying me at all?" he grinned, playfully kissing her neck and shoulder and gently pushing her to lie on the bed, as she was quickly loosing concentration.

After a whole year, she was still flinching to the deepest corners of her body and soul whenever he came close to her. Donna never got that flustered when any other man approached her, because no one else was what she really wanted. She found the way his hands made her lose control intensely erotic, but knowing she had not will power to resist it was highly out of character for her. For once, she was delighted someone else took control to please her and she let herself go to enjoy every second of it.

"Not… for a single minute. Specially, right now"

Her breathing started to quicken as his lips traveled down her skin, skillfully teasing her breasts with the tip of his tongue and heading down, kissing her belly softly, as she ran her hand through his hair and moaned quietly. He knew what he was doing, and was using it to get her extremely turned on, filling her with that lustful need of him no one else could awake under her skin.

"Don´t stop, darling, please…"

She opened her legs further, when he removed her underwear painfully slowly, teasing her inch by inch while he burned her skin with his lips, until his butterfly kisses started the way up her inner tight. But then, he stopped with a delicate kiss where he knew would drive her wild and pulled away, looking amusingly at her with a cheeky smirk. Sam left her there, turning around and grabbed his dark blue robe, with the intention of wearing it again.

Donna´s mouth fell open and even if she didn´t know how, she sat straight up.

"WHAT the hell are you doing, Sam?" she questioned, her frustration growing as his smirk grew wider and she needed him so bad it hurt.

"You left me first, I´m leaving you now honey"

Her strength intensified by her frustrated lust, Donna threw him back into the bed and sat straddling him again.

"You´re not going anywhere, you´re well and truly kidnapped right now, and for my benefit only"

Before he had any chance to reply, she placed her hands next to his head over the mattress and took his lips in a forceful kiss that would blow any thought away from their minds, except each other.

"Now that´s better" she smiled with a light moan, when they broke apart for air and she straightened herself again, while he teasingly slid his hands up her thighs and squeezed her rear "I need you now…"

With a naughty grin, she approached to place yet another alluring kiss on his sensitive neck, breathing in deep his manly scent, while biting her lower lip to hold the sheer anticipation that was already tickling her exactly where she needed him most. Trailing her finger down his chest, in a soft tortuous pace, she got to take hold of him, squeezing teasingly, until the intensity of his groans told her he couldn´t take it anymore.

"Are you ready?" she whispered seductively, nibbling his ear.

"Donna, I don´t think I can hold much longer… Oh, my God…"

With a quick move of her hips, he was plunged into her warmth and she couldn't help a loud moan at the sensation of him feeling her in. He give a loud moan of relief, finally feeling her around him and took her hand to kiss her palm before starting to move along with her, with the accurate pace he knew they both needed. Nothing else felt so good and right than the sweet gentle way her husband made love to her.

Her fingers pressed against his skin on his thighs, she tried to control the rocking of her body against him, but it was useless, and he groaned when she dragged the nails buried on his skin. The excitement was too high and the desire too deep, throwing them into an unwind spiral of pure ecstasy and bliss.

He placed his hands on her hips, thrusting along with his wife´s moves and moaning every time he got deeper into her. They were both eager and never before had they build they way up so fast.

The pain inside her chest, that have never been vanished, was growing by the minute, but the pleasure she was getting, more and more with every move, prevented her to give it a second thought, she nearly didn´t feel it while the powerful moves of her husband were taking her exactly where she wanted.

"I love you, my beautiful" he said, as he thrust hard and hit her delicate spot.

"I love you too. Come with me…I´m so close" she managed to groan, as her orgasm was clearly erupting inside of her and she tilted her head back with a loud extended moan, in a frantic attempt to let it flow.

"My God, Sam, you are…"

But with her words unfinished, and when the so awaited sensation finally hit her fully, before he can reach the top, she let out a loud heart-breaking scream and collapsed over him, unconscious.

Desperate, he took, her face in his hands and stroke her hair back to look at her. Her eyes were closed and her sweat-soaked skin was slightly shaking. Something wasn´t right and he couldn´t lose a minute to act. Withdrawing from her, Sam placed Donna on the bed and dialed 911 for an ambulance.

_Hurry up, hurry up_, he thought, hurrying to get his wife back into her underwear and nightgown again as fast as he could and opening the door for the paramedics to run into the room when they get there.

Jumping again into his robe, he started applying pressure on Donna´s chest and pressed his mouth against hers to move the air in and out of her lungs. Those were the first aids he knew and couldn´t think of anything else to do.

Sam had been very detailed about their location, for the help to come as soon as it was possible and as the emergency team moved his wife onto the stretcher, he took two seconds to jump in some shorts, shirt and shoes to join her inside the ambulance. Crying in silence, he took her hand and kissed it lovingly, while the professionals leaned over her with the defibrillator and placed an oxygen mask on her face.

_Please stay, Donna. Stay for me, stay for our kids. _

"Stay with me" he whispered, as close to her ear as he could, while the ambulance run noisily the way through the busy streets to the nearest hospital.

And the nightmare, was just about to begin…

*

_There you got. Like it? Next chapter nearly done, but if you want it you´ll have to be nice and press the twinkling button! Much love... Mel._


	3. Ch III: Away From Home

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Ch. III: Away From Home

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_Thanks for the reviews, they mean so much! You are all utterly amazing. I´ve done the research I could to make this as medically truthful as possible... Damned thing everyone in my family is a doctor, but I can´t talk to anyone… *sobs*_

_To Liv (joining you for an "I want to slap msn and I can´t" campaign, hope you got my email… ) and Gwen, love and hugs girls! :D_

_To Michal and Kel, for being so awesome "bits of a slut"! :D Love ya!_

_To my cutie lil sis Charliee… cause our lil conversations had filled me with ideas and u´ll see them coming this way!!!! (Note to you all… there´s a lot more planned if you want me to keep going… and let me know so!)_

_OMG! One more exam and I´ll be a LAWYER! I am right now SO excited :P Don´t expect a happy chapter tough, lol…_

_*_

White walls. Lonely corridors. The tension of the moment was quickly getting into Sam´s head, heart and soul. He had rushed behind Donna when they finally arrived to the hospital and ER, but nurses had stopped him just outside the surgery room. Time had gone by, and no one had come yet to inform about his wife´s condition. He had to fill a form and he had been sat there lonely, counting the minutes slipping away as his despair was starting to physically hurt. He loved Donna more than life itself, and losing her was a thought he just couldn´t bear. The fact he can´t do anything to save her, but sit and wait was a torture never experienced before. So many years have they been apart, so much time had they wasted, and just now… they had found the way to each other. There was no way she could be gone so soon. She couldn´t. Their happily ever after was just starting and a life without her, wasn´t possible in any way.

Being away from the beloved mother of his future child, he just wished he could hold her hand and kiss her forehead, whispering sweet nothings in her ear until she woke and smile. But that wasn´t so, and he only had left endless hours of walking back and forth trough the cold unwelcoming waiting room.

_Stay with me, babe. I love you, I need you._

Wiping his tears once again, he checked on the clock one more time. Still wearing the first clothes he could get his hands on, he was feeling well and truly uncomfortable. Even every breath felt the air was moving the wrong way. Uncertainty and lack of any company were growing too much to handle, and then, he also wished one of his children could be there with him. He had already called Pepper so Tanya, Rosie, Sophie and his sons would be informed of the situation when they arrive. Sighing, he buried his face in his hands and for the first time in a long time he felt like giving a prayer.

"Dad?" a young woman´s voice mumbled and he lifted his eyes to look at her.

"Sophie" Sam smiled "Finally you´re here"

He had forgotten about her arrival, but was certainly pleased to see her.

"Yes, can you tell me what´s going on, please? Pepper didn´t know quite much" she demanded worriedly, sitting next to him.

He placed his hand on her shoulder and held her against his chest, kissing her head softly. There wasn´t much he could say, and certainly nothing that could ease Sophie´s heart. Speechless, more tears flowed down his face and when she noticed, she pulled away lightly to look into his eyes, pleading for some sort of answer. She had waited so long to hug someone she could call her father, or a third of it, even more if it was someone that loved her mother as much as he did, someone that would _act_ as a real dad, that now, she didn´t want to break the embrace. Tears were flowing down her face and it didn´t escape Sam´s attention the fact she was showing there all alone.

"Heart attack for what I can tell. She fainted minutes after you called and… we came straight away here. She´s in the surgery room. I have no news yet"

"Oh, my God… Mom!" she cried out, hiding her face on his shirt to hold her loud sobs "I can´t believe it. Why didn´t I come back sooner? WHY?!"

"Sophie, what ifs will do no good" he said, rubbing her back and crying himself too, as he knew how much Donna wanted to have her daughter back "She will be alright, and she will be so happy to see you and tell you…"

"I just… can´t think that she may actually die in there. She´s my mother, I can´t lose her! She´s the only one I always had. I should have been here sooner, I should. I´m a terrible daughter. I promise you dad, I will do whatever it takes, but we are not going to attend her funeral. Not now. Not yet"

"I hope so, honey, I hope so… I wish there was something any of us could do"

"She also told me about some news… but she was talking in riddles about it. I have no clue what it is. Can you please tell me? Please? I can´t take this anymore…"

When all is heart yearned was to have his wife back, Sam couldn´t ignore Sophie´s deep pleading green eyes. They were so alike. Stroking her cheek, he smiled thinking that there were not all shadows…

"Mr. Carmichael?" a man dressed in white asked, clearing his throat "I´m Dr. Flannigan. I have some news for you and your family" he added, looking at Sophie.

"Yes, this is our daughter, Sophie. Please tell us. How´s my wife?" he replied, as they both stood quickly and shook the doctor´s hand.

"I´m Donna´s obstetrician, I can say nothing sure about your wife´s condition yet because she is still on surgery. I´ve been called because the baby was suffering and a cesarean was performed to save the child. I thought you may want to see your son"

Open mouthed, Sophie stared at him without saying a word and tightly squeezing Sam´s hand in shock.

"I do. Is the baby alright?"

"He´s healthy, yes, but he have been born prematurely so he´ll need time on an incubator"

"But he will survive, right? And what about the mother?"

"The baby will be alright, I can ensure you that. About the mother… the defibrillators were damaging the baby and was causing the fetal suffering, we needed to save him, before proceeding with your wife, she have been kept alive artificially, but I don´t how damaged is her heart. She came here pretty quick, so…"

Sam interrupted him with a gasp and the doctor didn´t keep on speaking, just turned and instructed them to follow him to the room the new Carmichael was in.

"A baby? She was pregnant?" Sophie squealed then, grabbing his arm tightly "Why didn´t she tell me? WHY?! I… certainly would have rushed back here. I can´t believe she pulled me away like this. Good lord…"

"Soph, your mother only wanted you to be happy, and she did what she thought would be for the best. We were so happy about the baby, and she thought it would be a nice way to surprise you. She didn´t want you to worry and rush back because of her. She knew, she had to let you go…"

"But I don´t want to be gone. She told me I would be her baby girl… always" she replied, crying into his chest once more.

"And you are"

Stroking her hair gently, Sam shushed her and wiped her tears while they walked into the room. And then, for a magic moment, they didn´t have eyes, they didn´t have a thought, for anything else but the beautiful new baby.

"He´s gorgeous" Sophie said, placing her hand over the glass and peering down at the small human been inside, so peaceful and perfect. It was hurtful seeing him connected to all those wires and machines, but he was alive, he would be fine, and they didn´t care about nothing else "I think he looks like you"

Looking at his son in silence, Sam tried to fight his tears unsuccessfully. Not only was he deprived of hugging his wife, now he couldn´t hold their son neither, that small pretty child they were so lovingly expecting for. Placing his hands on the glass too, he finally gathered some words.

"Welcome to the world, champion. I´m your daddy. Mommy will be here soon. You´re a miracle and you´re granting me so…"

Now, definitely, as he waited to know something about his wife, he wouldn´t left his son´s side. He sat down on a chair and pulled Sophie to sit on his lap, both still looking at baby Carmichael.

"How will you name him?" Sophie asked suddenly, making him look at her in surprise, because they didn´t have the time to agree about a name yet, specially since Donna didn´t want to find out if it was a boy or a girl until the birth.

"We couldn´t agree on a name. What do you think of Athos?"

"Athos?" Sophie whispered, looking to her baby brother and back into Sam´s eyes, smiling "I like it"

"You think your mom will like it?"

"Are you joking? She´s a Dumas´s fan and Athos was always her favorite musketeer. She made me read the book at a very young age. When I was a little girl and Ali and Lisa came to play, she usually joined us. She always left me be D´Artagnan, cause I wanted the leading role. I remember how Lisa was in love with Aramis character… We had fake swords and we fought as if we were dancing, you know, like choreography, I always loved that, and she gave us fizzy drinks and we said it was wine and pretended to get drunk. Of course, Athos was always the drunkest one and for real…"

Her smile widened, at the tender memories of her happy childhood. She was always complaining about not knowing who her father was, but lately she got to know she was making her mother miserable doing so. Every time Sophie brought up the subject, Donna would lock herself in her room and cry herself to sleep. Those were the scarce night mother and daughter wouldn´t cuddle together to have a chit-chat, go through photo albums or watch a movie together. And it wasn´t until she found her diary that Sophie realized why her mom hurt so much about that. She found out Donna had been abandoned for the only man she ever truly loved, and not knowing what she did so wrong to lose him was killing her inside… WHY if she loved him so much he didn´t loved her back? And Sophie knew she had to call him back. She called all of them. For her own sake. For her mother´s sake.

And then, after 24 hours trying unsuccessfully to deny she was still madly in love with him, Donna ran into his arms to find out she had never lost him, at all.

"It seems you have a lot of fond memories together"

"Yes" she said, resting her head on the crease of his neck and crying silently "I couldn´t ask for a better mother. I´ll hate myself for every time I shouted at her, for every time I was unfair, for haven´t been here. I can´t lose her. I just… can´t. I´ve missed her so much this whole year"

"I know, darling, I´ve missed her for 21 years. I can´t lose her neither "

"You know, she loves you terribly, every time I asked about my father she ended up crying so much. I never understood why, until I read her diary and learnt how truly she loved you and how devastated she was when you left"

Tears welled up on his eyes again, as he spoke with a raspy voice.

"I can´t say how sorry I am I didn´t come back sooner, how sorry I am I got mad at her when I thought she forgot me and didn´t call"

"But she didn´t forget you, I can say that. She waited for you all this long. Certainly, destiny can´t be so cruel to take her away from us now, right?"

"I hope so doll, if only I could tell you how much I need her…"

"You promise that, no matter what, you will never leave her?"

"I never wanted to leave her Soph, not back then, not now, not ever. You look so much like her" he finished smiling a moving a strand of hair behind her ear.

He wiped her tear strained face, unable to hold his own tears anymore. They heard the click of heels through the corridor and the door opening cheerfully. Tanya appeared on the threshold, closely followed by Rosie. She was smiling and holding a bottle of champagne in her hand. Meaning to say something, she froze open-mouthed when she noticed the two tear flooded faces looking at her. The sorrow in their eyes resembled a deathly ghost that scared the soul out of her.

Rosie was the first to move, walking to take a seat next to Sam and placing her hand on his shoulder.

"What´s wrong, honey?" she whispered "We thought she was here only because the baby was born"

"Yes, our little boy is already here" he replied with a sigh, looking to his son. All of it, was such a bitter-sweet moment that words could not describe.

Leaving the bottle on a table, Tanya walked to stand by the incubator and looked at him in silence for a very long while.

"He´s gorgeous" she finally said, feeling a knot on her throat, none of them daring to ask what had happened with the mother and why wasn´t she there.

"But… where is Donna?" Rosie finally said.

Holding another sob, Sophie stood and walked to sit next to her brother, fixing her eyes on him and gently stroking the glass.

Walking to take a sit next to her friend´s husband, Tanya also fixed her eyes on him. They didn´t want to push, but they were desperate for an answer. Sighing, Sam rested his elbows on his knees and hid her face in his hands.

"I really could use a glass of that" he said, straightening himself and taking a deep breath, sure she would understand he was asking for the drink.

Walking o the table, she was back with a full glass of the welcomed alcohol, which he downed in once.

"Don´t you have anything stronger?"

"I´m ashamed to say, not at the moment…"

"I can´t lose Donna" he said, handing the glass back to Tanya for a refill "I just can´t lose her…"

Both women looked at each other, even more scared and by then not knowing if they wanted to hear the rest. Donna had always been the light of the party and no one could imagine her not being there. She was just one of those highly energetic souls that you thought would never die. Because there´s something strangely natural in thinking light can´t really fade away…

"Plain and simple, it was a heart attack. She had a cesarean performed first and now she´s still on surgery. We don´t know nothing about her yet…"

His voice trailed off when a red haired woman stepped into the room. She was still wearing her green surgery clothes and a mask on her face, which she skillfully removed before talking.

"Mr. Carmichael? I´m Dr. Alyssa Carrington. I´m a surgeon and I´ve been operating your wife this morning. I´m here to inform you about her condition… As you may know, she suffered a massive heart attack. Thanks to the quick assistance she came in here alive and we saved the baby, but…"

The woman´s voice was somehow shaking and she was clearly walking in circles around the point. The four pair of eyes looking at her made it difficult to say everything, even when she was used to face this kind of situations. That particular case was something the Doctor had not faced before.

Sam´s guts twisting inside made it difficult for him to speak, but his love for his wife was stronger and he needed to know if she was still alive, if she would be alright. It could be good. It could be bad. But nothing could be worse than the sheer soul-tearing doubt.

"Please, tell me, Doctor, will my wife… survive? Is she still alive?"

Sam could feel his body shuddering, he could feel no one was breathing inside that room. And it could be nothing else but the tension of disgrace. Shot in the shortest way possible, her answer was not quick enough…

"She´s alive. But I´m sorry to say her heart have been too damaged, we´re keeping her alive artificially now, as we did since she came in and the cesarean was performed. She needs a new heart or she will not make it, and she needs it now. But _A-_ blood is not common at all, and it is difficult and highly incompatible… I´m afraid there´s no chance we will get a donor as soon as she needs…"

"Does that means…?"

His heart painfully skipped a beat.

"We can hold her for the next hours… I´m sorry, is all I can do"

No one said another word, and the doctor walked out in silence, knowing the family will need time to grieve and get over the facts to make a decision.

_All they can do_.

That was it, finally they had real information that she may actually… die. Death was now a dark cloud hanging over them and as it was thundering, rain may very soon storm they way.

"Oh my fucking god" Tanya whispered, running her hands through her hair "This is just not happening…"

"If I think what´s happening is happening… It better not be!" Rosie mumbled, shaking her head.

Bursting out crying, Sophie ran out of the room, slamming the door shut behind her. Rosie squeezed Sam´s shoulder as Tanya stood and followed the young woman. Their friend´s family would need help and they would have to be there… for them, for Donna.

"She´s strong, Sam, she can make it. She haves to survive… and deep inside she knows it, she will fight for you, she will fight for your children…"

"What am I going to do without her Rosie? What am I going to tell Athos when he eventually asks about her?"

"You´ll tell the truth. You´ll talk about how an amazing woman she is and how much you love her. Don´t talk like that because she is not gone"

"For how long Rosie? If destiny doesn´t send someone rushing into emergency… _now_, there´s no way we can get a new heart…"

"Something will happen, just you wait, something will happen… They say, the Lord haves mysterious ways, crooked ways to write a straight line…"

"I need to hold her, I need to hold our child. You know how it feels for me having to look at him through the glass? To pray she will survive when I can´t even hold her hand?"

"It´s keeping the baby alive, and he´s gorgeous, and you´ll get to hold him, put him to sleep and play with him and you´ll be so proud. They will both need you, fight for them"

"Why did this ever have to happen?"

"We will never understand why some things happen in this world"

*

Tanya found Sophie sat on a chair, holding her legs against her chest and resting her chin on her knees. Tears were silently cascading down her face and her gaze was lost in some distant spot on space. The sight of the girl remembered Tanya the day Donna had been kicked out of her own house, the day she had too lost her mother. She sighed, hoping deep inside that wasn´t Sophie´s fate.

"How are you Soph?" she asked, taking a sit next to her and placing her hand on the girl´s shoulder.

Sophie wiped her tears to look back at her mother´s best friend.

"I don´t really know, but I want to be alone"

"Will you believe me if I tell you loneliness won´t help?"

"No" she cut, looking away.

"Your father needs you at this moment and you need him too. You wanted to find him, honey, and now he´s there for you to act like his daughter"

"Aunt Tanya, at this moment I seriously don´t need anyone but my mother talking to me" Sophie muttered, but she rested her head against the brunette´s chest and burst out crying.

"She will be alright honey, she was always stubborn…"

_And I hope for this time, to be damned right._

Tanya was stroking her golden curls and Sophie giggled softly, breaking apart to look at her.

"Wait… they said the problem was her blood, right? They need someone _A-_ to be the donor?"

"That´s… what the Doctor said, yes. It is very uncommon, and it is not receptive..."

Turning around she covered her mouth with her hand, lost in her thoughts for a few minutes. Suddenly, she stood and walked away through the corridor as Tanya looked at her in awe and stepped back into the room to join Rosie and Sam.

An idea had lightened in Sophie´s head to save her mother. She wasn´t quite sure, but she felt it was the right thing to do. Because if there was something to be done, she would do it, regardless the cost.

*

The dynamos left the room and ran into the cafeteria to get some coffee to keep them awake and buy some for their friend´s mess of a husband before he fell into a total breakdown.

"Gosh, I need brandy and not this stuff" Tanya complained, whilst sipping on her drink unwillingly "I don´t have a hangover"

"Tanya, shut the fuck up" Rosie answered, swallowing an aspirin.

"Did you just say that?!" the tall brunette exclaimed grinning and placing a hand on her hip.

"Shut up" Rosie said, rolling her eyes and hitting her friend´s back for her to start walking.

Watching the two women walk away, Sophie took a deep breath and walked into the room to kneel in front of Sam, taking hold of his hand. As soon as the news started to sink in, he was slowly drifting into a state of shock and it was more difficult every time to get a reaction from him. Squeezing his hands, she bitted her lower lip, waiting for him to look at her.

"I´m going back to the Villa for a couple of hours. Do you need something?"

Smiling, he leaned to kiss her forehead softly.

"Just some clean clothes darling… And a toothbrush"

"Ok… I´ll be back soonish. But please, please, keep her alive"

Sam nodded silently and she started to raise, when he grabbed her arm to stop her.

"Christ, I´m losing my mind! Ow can this happen? I nearly forgot… Can you bring Azaria with you please? I want to see her…"

Shaking her head, Sophie frowned at his last statement.

*

_A/N: Not expecting that, huh? Loved it? Hated it? Let me know!_

_To save Donna press 0-800-REVIEW!_

_Love to you all! Mel._


	4. It Is About What Comes After

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Chapter IV: It is about what comes after.

**********

_Oh… God… I haven´t updated in ages! Sorry! There have been a lot of things around her__e! You have a lawyer now at the other end of the line ;D I´ll make it up to you with a very, very long chapter!  
_

_Merry Christmas to you all and all the best wishes for 2010! Belated, but anyway ^^_

_I hope you enjoy this chapter!_

_Dedicated to Liv (SO awesome to have you back! Welcome!), to my little sister Charlie (lol, I swear I didn´t stole anything!), Gemma (Thanks for your presents, I LOVED them!)._

_And at last but not least, Shanice and Kel! You rock girls!_

_Thanks for the reviews, they do mean so much to me, and for those who has asked me to carry on! You are the best! :)_

_SO here it is… enjoy! (M alert for you Shanice! Thanks so much for your dedication :D:D:D)_

*

"I asked Ayelena, the housekeeper, to take care of her during the morning so I could spend some peaceful time with your mother… She´s so impressed with Greece"

"I can image. So was I when I was a little girl and my mother took me here. This is such a wonderful place to grow"

"I hope so… for both kids"

"Ok, I´ll bring her here…"

"Thank you. Take care darling" he mumbled as she walked away.

Looking at his son, and now waiting for Azaria to join him soon, Sam couldn´t help his mind to wander through the memories and remember each of those moments he and Donna treasured together.

_Sam caressed her cheek, smiling lovingly at his beautiful wife, lying underneath his body. After making love to her for the third time since their wedding, he knew he belonged to her, body and soul, and nothing would change that__. A hurtful knot was stuck on his throat, when he thought about something he had to say yet and she may not like at all. Trying to get himself ready and find the right words, he softened the punch placing a delicate kiss on her lips._

"_What is it, sweetheart?" Donna asked, sensing the tension and pulling to sheets to cover her further, when he rolled to lie by her side._

"_Darling… I have something to tell you…"_

_Unresponsive, she felt her heart stop beating and swallowed hard. Those were the very same words he used 21 years before. And she doubted she wanted to hear the rest._

"_I have to go back to New York…"_

_Her heart sank in her chest with an anchor´s speed and she slapped her hand across his face, shaking her head._

This can´t be happening. This can´t be happening… again! Oh, God, I let him back into my bed, into my heart, into my life… for this?

"_You bastard! How do you dare…" bursting in tears, she turned to leave the bed when he grabbed her arm gently._

"_Honey, calm down… i__s… only for a couple of days, and… I want you to come with me"_

_Slowly, Donna turned to look back at her husband and wiped her tears, then wrapping her arms around him to hide her face on the crease of his neck._

"_Don´t ever scare me like that again"_

"_I´m sorry" he said, kissing her head ad wrapping his arms around her._

"_I´m sorry too" she replied, kissing his cheek where she had hit him._

"_I think I deserved that, for what I did 21 years before…"_

_Smiling, she shook her head again._

"_Why do we have to go back there?"_

"_I have things to settle down before moving here babe, and there´s Azaria…"_

"_Azaria? Who´s Azaria?" the woman asked, half suspicious, half confused__ and unsure if she wanted an answer._

"_Jasmine´s daughter" he replied, nearly in tears and looking away._

_Tears washing the light of her eyes, she gave him a hurt confused look__: dressed in her silence, piercing as a drill._

"_She is…" he mumbled with a faltering voice "She was my sister. She died six months ago and I´m taking care of her little daughter"_

"_Oh, a little girl" Donna smiled wiping her tears, her motherly instincts instantly kicking in "It will be lovely to have her with us"_

_Sam gave a deep sigh of relief. He was dreading bringing up the subject, not knowing how would she take it. He leaned to place a grateful kiss on her lips, but she wrapped her arms around him, making it much more intense and pleasant, until they ended up lying under the covers again._

_Donna smiled sincerely, deeply enjoying the feeling of her husband so close to her._

"_And when are we leaving baby? I will love to go with you"_

"_Tomorrow, if that´s fine with you"_

"_Is perfect. Whenever, wherever you take me, is perfect. I love you" finishing her words, she pushed him close for a forceful kiss, wrapping her arms around his neck to make her intention clears. _

_But when a sudden thought invaded her mind, she broke apart delicately and softly trailed her hand down his chest, in a loving caress to soften her next words. Staring into his eyes, she bit her lower lip before saying._

"_I wou__ld really love to have Azaria with us sweetheart. I´ll take care of her as my own daughter…"_

"_That´s really nice of you babe" he replied smiling, stroking her cheek gently "You are… so perfect"_

_Swallowing hard, she closed her eyes before going on._

"_But I don´t think I can__ cope with two kids. I can´t have another baby then…"_

_And she hid her face on the crease of his neck, just so she wouldn´t have to see the disappointment in his eyes._

*

_Donna had most lovingly taken Azaria into her arms since the very first moment the__y met on New York, she had talk her wonders about Kalokairy and showed the most beautiful places when they got there. But the black-haired little girl was too young, unstable and hard to handle. _

_She was sweet and adorable most of the time, smiling lovingly with the hole of the tooth she had recently lost and introducing her puppet to everyone who agreed to met her; Donna instantly fell in love with her, but being her mother´s dead so recent she constantly had going offs on the one now meant to play that roll and ended up yelling and crying. Donna knew it was only a stage, that Azaria would be over her mother´s dead eventually, but she felt too old to deal with it in the mean time._

_She loved their little princess as her own child and she loved her husband beyond words. He had been loving and thoughtful most of the time and his support had been priceless. But Donna was exhausted, and she was about to crash. First, Sam insisted on having their own baby, but she refused at any price, even when he ended up going mad at her and she had to go to bed alone. She didn´t really dare to deal with two kids at her age and managing the Villa on her own, and wasn´t quitting the contraceptive pills. Once and again he repeated how deeply and truly sorry he was for not being there the first time for her, but promised to be there every step of the way now. And Donna believed it, but every time she was about to fall, something prevented it. She finally got him dropping the subject aside and settling to the idea she wouldn´t give in._

_But it wasn´t any relief at all. Once he said he wouldn´t force her and that he loved her the way she was, he started noticing her tiredness, her swollen eyes from lack of sleep and the ungodly hours she crawled into bed at night. And he asked her to stop. He asked her to hire help. And every time it resulted in her storming out of the room and depriving him from company and sex. It was hard for him to stand those lonely nights, but he was determined to drill some sense into her head. She couldn´t keep going on like that and one night early December, he took upon him the task to make her change her mind. And he wasn´t taking no for an answer._

_Hugging and kissing, he forced her out of the office for once at a normal hour, took her for a nice meal on her favorite restaurant at the mainland, and to bed later. The night wasn´t long, but it was the quality time they had been missing and it just pushed deeper into Sam´s heart the thought of how his wife was killing herself and how he really missed her. Lying in bed after a sweet long love making, he held her against him, stroking her back gently and placed a soft kiss on her lips._

"_Have you thought about what I said, baby?"_

_Donna sat straight in bed, swallowing hard at the knowledge of what was coming next. She didn´t want to end up fighting with her husband again. She needed him, in every level and she needed him to understand. _Why does he have to ruin this perfect evening doing this?

"_About what?"_

"_About hiring the help, Donna, you need it…"_

"_Sam" she groaned "Why are you doing this? I´ve told you a million thousand times I don´t need help here!__ I am the boss and I´m perfectly capable of handling everything, as I´ve been doing the last 15 years… on my own"_

"_Donna, __your life has changed, you´re falling into pieces. I need you, Azaria needs you"_

"_So now I´m not enough a good mother for Azaria? I managed perfectly with Sophie. Alone. I can manage with Azaria"_

"_You´re a wonderful mother Donna, that´s why I trusted you with Azaria, that´s why I still want another child with you. You were 20 years younger back then. And Sophie had her mother"_

"_Well, she didn´t had her father" Donna said icily "You´re doing this because you´re a selfish bastard"_

"_I´m doing this because I love you"_

"_I´m not going to change Sam. Not for you, not for anyone"_

"_I quitted everything for you Donna, you should think about that"_

_Pulling his robe on, he stormed out of the room and not even the whole night of sleeping on it changed his mind about leaving Kalokairy the next morning. He dressed the five years old kid and slowly headed away. He was angered at her for being so stubborn, but mostly, he was hurt by the way she reacted and the things she icily hissed at him, when he was only and most lovingly taking care of her._

"_Why are we going back to New York, Uncle Sam? I love Kalokairy. I want to stay here"_

"_No baby, we are not staying"_

"_She can stay with me if she wants" Donna said, stepping in from of them and taking Azaria into her arms._

"_Donna, she´s my baby and she´s going with me"_

"_She´s our baby Sam, why are you leaving?" She asked, tears welled up in her eyes._

"_I don´t want to have just what´s left of you at the end of the day Donna, and I don´t want to be just the last burden you have to get rid of every night. I want a wife. Give me Azaria back or I´m calling the police"_

_For a moment, she stared at him open-mouthed, angered and confused by his words. She showed there to ask for his forgiveness and beg him to stay, but his last words prevented her of doing so. Placing the kid on the floor, she hissed._

"_You´re calling the police on your own wife? You bastard…"_

_Holding a scream of frustration, she raised her arm to slap her hand across his face, insulted, but instead, she looked away in despair and locked herself into the bathroom. Flooding in silent tears, Sam then made his way to the airport and left. She haven´t said a single word to ask him to stay._

_Behind the door, Donna burst out crying for a long while. _I can´t mess it up like this. Not again. Why is he leaving me? Why? Where did I go so wrong? He hates me, and there´s no reason…_ Suddenly feeling sick, she bended over the toilet to throw out twice, her body still shaking, until she blacked out and fainted. It happened again the day after, and the day after that once more. Ten days went by and she kept feeling constantly ill. Not wanting to disturb Sophie, she called her best friends for advice and a shoulder to cry on; they tried to comfort her the best way they could and advised Donna to go and see a doctor in the first place. They offered to stick around, and to go and talk some sense into Sam´s head. But Donna refused: of them three, she was the only one who really knew…_

_Walking out of the Hospital the next day, after she had diligently listened to her friends, Donna stopped to sigh and look upwards. _This is the last time I ask for a sign. Or is you playing up on me, mom?

_Walking to sit on a bench, she sighed again and buried her head in her hands. It was time to think straight, damned it, it was._

He didn´t come back or sent anyone to get the things he and Azaria left behind, even if we haven´t spoke this eleven days. He haven´t sent any divorce papers. Can it be he could find someone else so soon? I know his charms are irresistible – _she thought giggling to herself_- but I trust him when he said he loves me. He was right, he left everything for me, he can´t forget so soon… I miss him so much. God, I don´t think I´ll be able to see him again without jumping on him. Does he feel the same way about me? Does he miss me too? Is our love strong enough… after all? I don´t want to crawl back to him but what else can I do?

_Silent tears rolled down her face while she thought of how happy they have been __together, and every gesture that had made her feel a queen, better of all, his queen. When she walked back into the Villa two hours after, she had made up her mind. _I´m going to get my husband back.

_By next day´s early afternoon__, Donna landed on JFK airport, all alone and feeling empty. Still crying silently, she boarded a cab to his apartment and rang the bell, second by second dreading what his reaction would be. They were a week away from Christmas, and her heart was as cold as the snow gently hitting the windows. She had been miserable away from him and she needed to let him know. What she didn´t know was the fact he had suffered as much._

_Donna gasped, speechless, when he opened the door smiling__. Just that handsome curving of his lips, melted her again, the same way it did when she was a crazy teenager back when they met. Some things never change…_

"_Hey, you´re early" But his face instantly transformed when he saw her, he was deeply surprised, even if beyond pleased to see her after so long "Donna, come in, love" he said, moving aside so she could walk in and smiling again._

_She smiled stepping in, instantly looking away to hide her tears and the knot on her throat. She walked to the sofa before her legs break on her, and removed her shoes and jacket to sit crossing her legs. _You´re too late, you idiot, he already haves someone else. How can you forget me so soon? Didn´t I love you enough? Didn´t you love me enough to fight for us?

"_Who are you waiting for?" She asked, forcing a smile and trying her best to keep her voice from betraying the pain and jealousy killing her inside._

_Walking to the bar, he offered her a drink, which she refused, and walked to sit next to her, craving to extend his hand and touch her, but equally afraid of doing so, as if her spotless beauty could crash and break._

"_Fred and George" (N/A: Dedicated to those who will recognize the names! xD) He looked into her eyes to keep going "They took Azaria to the park, but I wasn´t expecting them for the next two hours" _

"_Oh, is them" she sighed, relieved "__How´s my little sunshine? I miss her"_

"_She misses you too" he answered, allowing his gaze to fall on her inviting lips and the smiled captured in there. He was longing to hold her, to kiss her…_

_Cuddling close against him, she locked her tear filled eyes with his, their lips inches apart._

"_And you didn´t miss me, baby?"_

_Silently, he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer and placing a row of loving kisses on her lips._

"_Horribly. This days without you have been a nightmare and there have not been a second I didn´t wish I haven´t left"_

_Giggling out the bursting relief inside of her, she removed her sweater and sat on his lap in a straddling position, wrapping her arms around his neck._

"_And why didn´t you come back? Why didn´t you call me? The last time you didn´t, we missed 21 years together"_

_He laughed at the reference, and looked back into her eyes._

"_I thought you would be too angry to even talk to me sweetheart, but despite that I missed you so much it was well worth a try. I had plane tickets booked to be back there with the kids for Christmas"_

"_That would have been lovely" she smiled, trailing her hands down his chest and leaning against him; knowing he had not given up on her was much more wonderful than she imagined "I wasn´t angry because… you were right. You left everything for me and I didn´t appreciate it. I cried myself to sleep every night, missing you so bad…"_

"_I did it because I love you darling, and I shouldn´t have try to force you to do anything… I´m really sorry…"_

"_Shhh" she mumbled, starting to undo the buttons of his shirt and kissing him again "I love you"_

_Responding forcefully, he took her to the bedroom and closed the door with his bare foot behind them. She laughed again when they crashed together into bed, drunk of happiness to be there with him where she dreaded she wouldn't be never again._

_Smiling, Sam__ trailed hungry kisses down her neck and jaw line, taking in the delightful flower essence and the priceless taste of rainbow on her sun kissed skin._

_Moaning, she unbuckled his belt and pushed the pants and underwear quickly down with her legs, with a desperate move that was more reflex than intention. He was going slow and teasing her, just where he knew she was more sensible and awoke her most deep desires, but after all those years apart, the joys on their life together had sunk deep into Donna´s body and heart: she was eager, she was lost, she was craving for him like never before and she couldn´t stand the teasing._

_He removed her trousers and then tangled his finger into the black lacy slip, looking at her with his most seductive smile, sliding it downwards with a tortuous slow place and placing butterfly kisses all the way down her leg. Under the pressure of her burning body, Donna felt about to explode when the shivering sensation travelled through her skin. She grabbed onto the sheets with a loud groan. She couldn´t control her flinching body. She couldn´t control the fire._

"_Please, Sam" she moaned, taking a deep breath "Oh, please"_

_Smiling at her flustered expression and quick responding body, he leaned to place a teasing kiss on her still half-covered breast. He had missed the beautiful woman lying with him so much that he wanted to make the best of the moment and be sure she would never forget it. He wanted to please her, delighted to know he could still make her yearn for him like that. She had gotten into his skin and there was no way out. _

_Groaning at the light alluring pressure of his lips on her flesh, Donna raised turning Sam to lay on his back and sit on a straddling position over him. She looked into his eyes, smiling and he smiled back at her. A total lustful desire for each other flooded both of them, but at the same time, they wanted it to last forever. They didn´t want to split again. They were caught to the bottom on a bad romance and there was indeed no way out._

_He slowly trailed his hands up her thighs, drawing circles on her skin until he rested them on her slender waist, smiling wider at her quivering body and her changing facial expressions._

"_What was wrong sweetheart?"_

"_Nothing" she giggled, when his hands followed the way up her back to unclasp her bra__. Gasping, she pulled them aside and trailed her hands down his chest, grinning._

"_I can´t wait anymore… You´re killing me…" she muttered, moving her hips so with a clean move, he was fully into her._

_He groaned with her, grabbing a tight hold of the sheets beside his head. She grabbed his thighs tightly, burying her nails on his skin as she moved at a quick pace, her moans growing louder and most constant every second._

"_You like that, honey?" she groaned, feeling herself dangerously close and hardly breathing._

"_My goodness, Donna" he moaned, tilting his head back in a loud groan before raising to roll her onto her back again, slowing the pace a little._

"_Take it easy sweetheart, or I´ll come too soon"_

"_Mmm" she moaned out of breath._

"_I love you" he whispered, crashing his lips onto hers passionately._

"_I love you too, Oh My God, I love you" she screamed, wrapping her arms and legs around him tightly, as her back arched and the tingling sensation growing inside of her exploded abruptly, hitting her fully in a mind blowing ecstasy, while she kept screaming her last words. He followed shortly after, calling her name and plunging into her welcoming lips once again, until he reached his most wanted warm relief into her. _

_He withdrew__ and collapsed next to her, waiting for the silent minutes going by to take their breathing back. Finally, he looked at her and placed a soft kiss on her lips _

"_I mean it baby… I love you"_

"_I love you too… for real" she whispered, kissing him back and cuddling up against his mainly frame. She smiled, inhaling his particular essence and realizing how much she had really missed her husband, how much she really needed him and unconsciously she started placing sweet kisses on his chest._

_L__ooking at her, so shinny, so perfect, he gasped knowing he couldn´t spend another day, another hour without her. They already had too many lost years to make up for. But he felt he had been unfair, he had been a bastard as she said when she was only the most wonderful wife. He wanted to know if she could really forgive him again. Gently, he placed his finger under her chin, to meet her gaze._

"_Baby, please tell me this is not just about sex, please, tell me we are not over…"_

_Closing her eyes, she smiled, knowing what she was about to reveal, and a million butterflies tickled inside her stomach as she haven´t felt since the day they got married. She tried to anticipate his reaction: Surprise? Happiness? Joy? Nervousness? Shock? But she couldn´t. Giggling, she raised herself on her elbow and stared at him, intertwining her fingers with his._

"_No, this is not about sex… is about what comes after"_

"_After? What?" he asked scared, not knowing if to be happy or devastated by her words._

"_I´m pregnant silly" she replied, biting her lower lip in anticipation._

"_What?!" he screamed, sitting straight up in shock "What?"_

"_Well… we´re having a baby" she replied, her smile fading as her golden butterflies crystal crashed._

"_T-that´s generally the definition…"_

"_I thought you wanted this" she whispered, a lonely tear trailing down her face._

_Smiling, he rolled on top of her and placed a long, passionate kiss on her lips._

"_And I do. I´m so happy I have no words. But I´m more interested in knowing if you are" he said, breaking for air and staring into her eyes._

"_Oh God, I could just go to bed with you right again now" she giggled, stroking his cheek "I´m so happy… more than I thought I would. More than… never before in my life"_

"_Are you sure?" he asked, placing his hand on her stomach "How did this happen? I thought you were on the pill. When did you find out?"_

_She smiled, intertwining their fingers over her belly and placing another soft kiss on his lips. She was truly bursting of joy, and seeing the happiness in his eyes was enough for whatever she would have to go through._

"_Well… it is due to all the time you spend inside of me, honey. I was on the pill, but I quitted three months ago. I found out yesterday, when I went to the hospital. Strong steady heartbeat"_

"_What made you change your mind? Why didn´t u tell me when you quitted? You would have saved me three months of thinking you didn´t want a child with me"_

"_Of course I do, more than anything. I want to have your child, our child. I was full of doubts, yes. I wanted the baby but I didn´t know if I could handle it, I didn´t know if you would leave me. And Azaria is still so vulnerable, poor baby. But then I saw the way you treated her, the way you treated me, how you so madly wanted this. But it wasn´t until we stopped arguing about it, I gave it a second thought. And then, I knew there was nothing to fear. Because you´ll be there with me, right?"_

"_Of course I will, forever. Thank you"_

"_And thank you. We made it together, remember?"_

"_Right" he smiled, kissing her forehead, and she slowly drifted away in a contented sleep._

"_Wake up sweetheart" Sam smiled, placing loving kisses on Donna´s neck and earlobe, until she smiled, moaning slightly and wrapped her arms around his neck, placing a seductive kiss on his lips herself "The boys will be here soon" he finished, breaking apart and smiling at her._

_Giggling, she looked at him up and down and once again his charm made her heart skip a beat. She raised onto her knees, next to him and threw her arms around him again, locking their lips with renewed passion._

"_I can´t help myself, gorgeous" she laughed with a wink._

_He placed a last loving kiss on her lips and walked to the door._

"_I better wait on the living room sweetheart or they will probably find us still in here and not dressed at all"_

"_Oh, you´re a bad influence Carmichael" she laughed, shaking her head and throwing a pillow at him._

"_And you love it" he smiled, closing the door._

"God knows I do" _she whispered, gingerly putting her clothes back on so she could run to kiss her husband again._

_Smiling, she walked to cuddle against him on the coach, wrapping her arms around his waist. He looked at her and they plunged into a slow and never-ending loving kiss, until the door suddenly opened and they broke apart._

"_Aunt Donna!" Azaria screamed excitedly, running to jump and hug her. Donna lifted her in her arms, spinning around._

"_I missed you baby"_

"_I missed you too"_

"_Are we going back to Kalokairy, are we?"_

"_Yes, we are honey" she smiled, tightening the hug "We are"_

"_Right after Christmas princess, if that´s okay with you, honey"_

"_Christmas here? Sounds perfect" she answered, holding the little girl tighter._

_When she placed her back on the floor, Sam took her hand._

"_Darling, those are my kids Fred and George. Boys, this my wife Donna"_

Sam smiled then, remembering how well she went along with his sons, taking them as her own, just as she did with Azaria, and how they saw the morning come playing scrabble that night.

_You´re a musketeer my lovely, please fight…_

*

Looking at her image on the bathroom mirror once again, Sophie sighed. She had just splashed water over her face for the thousandth time, but her eyes were still red and swollen, her hair was messy and there was a shadow in the way she stared at herself. Biting her lower lip, she took the pink brush she always carried in her bag, and her gaze immediately fixed on it, as the memories came back to her mind.

"_Look, mom" a thirteen year old Sophie shouted, as she ran to one of the shop windows through the busy street._

_Donna lost sight of her for a moment, and worriedly grabbed her arm when she finally reached her._

"_Don´t do that again Soph, you scared me"_

"_I´m sorry mom. Look"_

_Sophie´s gaze fell over the black heels exposed between a pair of golden sandals and some fancy white flip flops. The shoes where obviously her size and the heels were not too high. Donna immediately fell in love with them to be her daughter´s first heels. But her mouth fell open when she saw the card with the prize._

Not again, good lord! How am I going to tell her I can´t afford it? Where are you now, Sam? Why aren´t you here to face all this with me? What terrible thing did I do that I wasn´t enough for you? I just want to know why do I still love you like this. Do you ever… think of me?

_Blinking to fight the tears, Donna sighed and placed her hand on Sophie´s shoulder. She bitted her lower lip, trying to find the words to tell her daughter that once again she wouldn´t get her wish._

"_Honey…"_

"_Don´t say it. We don´t have the money. What do we have money for, mom? Why did you ever let my dad go away? I hate you!"_

_Holding her breath, Donna tensed and raised her hand to slap her daughter but she bitted her lower lip and sighed, closing her eyes to stop herself._

"_Sophie, why in this world did you say__ that?" She muttered in a low voice, unable to hold the tear that burned the way down her face._

"_I´m sorry, mom" the girl said, looking at her mother with watery eyes and hugging her tight "I didn´t mean it. I love you. I just don´t understand why…"_

"_Neither do I, baby" she replied, wrapping her arms around her daughter and placing a soft kiss on her head, before tightening their embrace "Neither do I"_

_And then, once again, Donna cursed the day she let Sam Carmichael into her life. Not because of her baby girl, who she dearly loved, but because of the pain he caused them both. _

_Smiling, Donna placed her hand under Sophie´s cheek and kissed her forehead._

"_I love you baby, let´s go moving"_

"_Let´s go"_

_They turned into the next street, walking skillfully across the midday busy market._

"_Look at this Soph" Donna exclaimed excitedly, taking something in her hand of some of the salesmen and grabbing Sophie´s arm to stop her and hand her the object._

_Sophie smiled, taking in her hand the shinny pink nacre hairbrush._

"_Is beautiful"_

"_But there´s a condition" the woman added stroking lovingly the girl´s hair to place it behind her ear, while she looked at her with her eyes wide open "You must promise you´ll always have it with you"_

"_Of course I will mom" Sophie smiled, first holding it and then placing it immediately on her bag "But look!" she added, running away again "This will totally fit you"_

_The girl grabbed a straw cowboy hat exposed on one of the tables and placed it on her mother´s head._

"_You see? Now you look wild"_

_Laughing, Donna shook her head at her daughter and paid before they walked away. _

"_It is so hot here, God… Do you fancy an ice cream, Soph?" _

"_Absolutely" she replied, fanning her face with her hand._

"_Chocolate and Vanilla?"_

"_As usual" the girl smiled._

_Sitting under a flowered umbrella that was half-protecting them from the burning greek sun, Donna looked distractedly the sunflowers on the garden across the street, while Sophie kept twirling her spoon inside her empty cup, lost in thought._

"_What are you thinking, Soph?" the woman asked, suddenly noticing her usual gleeful daughter was silent._

"_Not much mom" she replied, looking up at Donna "I want to thank you for giving me the best day ever"_

"_Let´s go back home" she said, pulling Sophie up and hugging her tight._

Shaking her head, she stepped out of the bathroom and hurried out of the Hospital building.

*

Blinking to adjust her eyes to the light, Sophie stood at the top of the stairs looking at the old building that was her mother´s Villa, that had been her home for so many years. So long had she been absent and the emotion made her heart race. Her footsteps were slow and heavy as she made her way across the courtyard and to Donna´s room. Running her hand through her hair, she stood silently in front of the door before pulling it open. The room was dimly lit, but she could see it was a total mess. Sophie smiled faintly remembering how her mother will never allow someone else to tidy her own room.

She walked across the room to open the balcony doors and turned to face the job to be done. She removed the sheets and arranged clean ones, putting all back into place, working slowly and moving automatically, not giving her actions a second thought, as her mind was cast away.

Noticing the flowers on the floor, Sophie picked up the bucket and filled a recipient with water, leaving it over Donna´s dresser and stopping to give a second look to the pictures her mother had on the mirror.

"She always loved pictures" Sophie whispered, taking them one by one.

There was one of her, smiling and showing a basket of food to the camera. It was Sunday and they have been both out for a picnic. It was the day Sophie told her mother about her engagement.

The next one made her hold a sob. It showed her and Sky at the wedding reception… she was glad it had been her mother´s wedding because Donna had been happy since then. She didn´t want and she didn´t need to think about him right then, so she quickly put it aside.

Then, Sophie couldn´t help a smile at the sweetness of the next image. Sam had his arms wrapped around Donna and she was placing a kiss on his cheek. They looked so in love…

"I hope you´ll be happy… Please don´t ever divorce" Sophie whispered, sighing.

Another one showed Sam holding a little girl with shiny black curls and bright blue eyes. She was beautiful, but Sophie had never seen her before.

The last one, showed the same girl sat on the beach and making a sand castle. She gave it for sure it must be Azaria.

"Be a good daughter, you have the best mother you could ever get"

Leaving the pictures next to the flowers, Sophie shook her head and placed it between her hands once she noticed she´ve been talking to the photographs.

"I better keep going, this is driving me insane"

Walking around again, she picked up all the laundry and dropped into the basket for it to be done.

Grabbing a big bag, she approached the wardrobe to pack some clothes. She took a pair of his jeans, a dark blue polo shirt, some clean underwear and socks, and his new brown leather smart shoes, inside a plastic bag. _You must look great when she wakes_, she finally thought, placing also on the bag his bottle of partum and shaving utensils.

She moved to Donna´s wardrobe to grab another pair of jeans, an ample white blouse, a black belt and Donna´s precious stilettos. Sophie knew her mother only wear them on really special occasions. _But I´m sure she would like to look stunning when she leaves that Hospital._

Finally, she took a bottle of Donna´s favorite Donna Karan partum and headed to close the balcony again. But then, she glanced again at the dresser and the flowers, approaching slowly and taking a seat again. She blessed her mother´s bad memory and her old habit of always having pencil and paper at hand. She let down her bitter silent tears to flood her face as they haven´t before and started to write.

Once it was done, she walked to the shelve where Donna kept her books and grabbed "_The Three Musketeers_", placing the note in the first page and removing the pink brush from her bag to place them together. With a sigh, she placed the book back into place and walked to the wardrobe, taking Donna´s straw cowboy hat and placing it over her pillow. At last, she took a bottle of pills from her mother´s drawer and finally closed the balcony to walk away, taking the bags she has packed with her.

*

_SO... what is this girl up to? Review please and I´ll let you know! Loves. Mel._


	5. Chapter V: Knocking On Heaven s Door

**********

Chapter V: Knocking on Heaven´s Door…

**********

_Thanks for all the reviews my lovelies! :) They keep me going when I´m fighting hard with the writing and I´m really afraid this chapter is crap :( But here it is, please let me know what you think._

_Liv, great to know you had an awesome time in NY hun! :) Loves ya!_

_To Charrliie: Hope ur ok sis, missed ya! Loves!  
_

_Karola and Gem! Surprise! lol. Missed ya loads lately girls! Loves ya! And is true: MM 2 without M will suck! I really hope is NOT true!_

_And Shanice: Everything! :O_

_This have been hard to write, cause is something I´ve been through. Well, I hope you like it. __Enjoy!_

*

The midday sun burned Kalokairy that day, and it made a beautiful sight. Sophie didn`t remember the last time it had been so hot.

Reaching the bottom of the stairs, she saw the housekeeper and smiled, running to her.

"Ayelena! How are you?"

Sophie placed the bags on the floor and hugged her smiling.

"I´m fine, thanks. You look beautiful, Soph"

"Thank you"

"How´s your mother?"

"She´ll be alright" Sophie sighed, holding her sobs and mostly trying to convince herself "She´ll be alright"

Looking upwards, the dark skinned woman whispered something in greek Sophie didn´t understand. Her grandmother was a very strict catholic and that´s how, despite there were some things she disagree with, Donna had raised her kid. She wasn´t as hard as her mother and she did everything she could to give Sophie the support she never had herself. That´s why she had turned wild and ran away with the dynamos, that´s why she didn´t expect anything of her mother when she got the told her she was pregnant. She had already quitted on that and she acknowledged she wouldn´t have it any other way. She had raised her own kid alone and inch by inch dragged her way in life, she was proud of everything she had got and of her only kid and she thought what they both had was wonderful.

"And where´s Azaria? I have to take her and dad told me he left her with you this morning"

Sophie knew how fast her mother had fallen in love with the kid – even if probably that was related with how much she loved Sam and the fact they would raise the little girl together – and was eager to meet her.

"She is…" Just then, a black haired doll crossed the courtyard running and distractedly crashed against Sophie "there" Ayelena finished giggling.

"Sophie!" she smiled, looking up at her "Finally"

Sophie smiled back and lifted her up in her arms, her gaze and hand sliding down the lovely curls of her hair.

"Hey baby, how are you?"

"I´m fine. You look like aunt Donna"

Smiling at the comment, Sophie saddened again. Some girls do not want to resemble their mother, but Sophie thought hers was very deserving of all her admiration.

"Thanks, I like to hear so"

"Where is she?" the kid asked, tilting her head innocently.

"She´s a bit ill, dollie"

"Very ill?"

"She´ll be very very well and very very soon here again" she answered with a smoothening voice at the worry in the girls voice.

"Really?" Azaria smiled "That´s a nice word. You are my very friend. And you very smell like flowers"

Smiling at the girl´s tenderness, Sophie picked her up in her arms in a tight hug.

"Come on princess, you need to get a shower first"

"But I already had a shower"

"Darling, you´re bare feet and full of sand, you need to take it again" the blond replied, kissing her button nose.

"Okay" the girl sighed "But then are we going to see uncle Sam and aunt Donna?"

"We sure are" Sophie finally added, climbing the stairs back to her old room and holding her breath before walking in again. She had been away a whole year, and there were so many memories inside there she had to blink several times to stop her tears from falling as she looked around.

Walking into the bathroom, she placed the girl down and turned on the shower, helped her in and got a towel ready. After getting all wet herself, she dried Azaria and changed herself into a nice short blue summer dress. Something she had got for her 20th birthday, the last she had spent with her mother. Clipping her hair up, another deep breath was taken to calm her.

Once she was wrapped in a pink dress and sandals, while Sophie was drying her hair, Azaria turned to ask.

"What happened to aunt Donna, Sophie?"

Trying not to look worried, she held her tears and frustration back to force a smile.

"She just… fell asleep sweetheart, she´ll be awake soon enough"

"That´s scary. Is uncle Sam asleep too?"

"No" Sophie smiled wider, her heart lifting at the thought of all the happiness a sudden moment have brought into her mother´s life "He`s very much awake and looking forward to see you"

"Oh, very" Azaria giggled, and Sophie smiled at her lovely face.

Tying her dark hair in a pony-tail, she scooped the little girl up in her arms, ready to go.

"Is time to hit the road, missy"

Grabbing the things she had packed, Sophie sighed and took a cab to the Hospital, paying a sheer attention at the trees and flowers she could find on the way, thing she had never done before and very useful to keep her mind out from everything else.

"Do you like flowers, Sophie?"

"Yes, I do baby, why?"

"Because you´ve been staring at them aaaaaaall the way long, just like aunt Donna does"

"You love your aunt Donna, right?"

"Like this very much" Azaria replied smiling and opening her arms as wide as her small body allowed her to.

Sophie giggled and a tear escaped her eye when she remembered she used to say the same thing to her mother, and it was very likely she had taught it herself to the little girl. But before she could think of an answer, the car stopped.

"Come on, we arrived Azaria"

Looking at her in a frightened silence, Azaria crept into Sophie`s arms and let the blonde lead her inside. She was too small to understand but old enough to feel sad and scared, and she just clung tight into Sophie´s arms. The huge imposing building was dreadful to everyone who ever had to step in there.

Never before in her life had Sophie to face so many things crossing her mind. And there where all things she didn´t want to face. She would do it because she wanted to, and thinking if it was right or wrong would only have her twirling around it forever. And then, it would be too late. Because when you get to regret something, it is always too late…

Shaking the unwelcomed thoughts out of her head, she entered the room to place the little girl on the floor and the bags over a chair, keeping a tight hold on her own handbag. Looking around she didn´t find Sam in there, just Tanya and Rosie sat in a corner, who smiled silently at her to keep their low-voice chat. Sophie watched frozen how Azaria approached Athos and raised on her feet as much as she could to look at him. Stepping closer, she lifted the girl in her arms again so she could have a complete view.

"Is that aunt Donna´s baby?"

"Yes, honey, that`s the baby, Athos"

"Can I hold him?" she asked excitedly.

"No baby, you can`t…"

"Why not? I promise I´ll be careful" she said with a soft voice, sadness blooming on her fading smile.

"Is not you, is because he´s too small… no one can hold him yet"

"He´s very ickle" the girl agreed "Not even aunt Donna can hold him?"

"No, she can`t neither"

"And where is she?"

"She´ll be here very soon, princess" Sam´s voice said from behind them, and Sophie turned to face him. He took Azaria in his arms, placing a kiss on her head while she screamed and hugged him back tightly.

"I missed you uncle Sam, and aunt Donna too, I wanna see her"

"You will" he whispered rubbing her back, the tears he had just washed away welling up in his eyes again.

"Sophie says she´s just asleep"

"Yes, she is… But she needs to be alone for a while"

"Oh. She doesn´t want to see me?"

"No, is not that baby. She will wake soon and then I´m sure she´ll hold you tight"

And the lonely tear he´d been holding made the hundredth slide down his cheek.

"Yeah" the kid sighed, hiding her face in his shirt, and then raising her head to look at him as he wiped his face and forced a smile "Have you seen the baby. Sophie says his name is Athos and she said no one can hold him"

"No, we can`t" he sighed, then holding her tight.

Resting against his protective chest, Azaria closed her eyes and fell asleep slowly in a quiet peaceful dream, drifting away from the dreadful reality. And then, he heartedly smiled for the first time in hours, looking down at the girl so innocent and sweet. Minutes later, he placed her on the sofa and pulled a cover over her body. When he looked up again, Sophie snaked her arms around him and started crying on his shirt.

Knowing even the simplest word would make his voice falter, he just wrapped his arms around her and stroked her back gently. Not wanting to break the silence, she sobbed for endless hours, until tiredness slowly brought her shuddering body to a stop. For a brief moment, he forgot Donna wasn`t there, he forgot that wasn`t her slim body or her beautiful golden curls, he forgot she wasn´t twenty years old anymore, and he forgot… everything else.

"I love you" Sam whispered softly.

"I love you too" she replied, wrapping her arms tighter around him and pulling him out of his reverie. Slowly breaking apart, she fixed her gaze on him "Do you promise not to leave her? Do you promise to make her happy? I need to know that, dad"

Smiling softly, he placed a kiss on her forehead and wiped her tears gently.

"For the rest of her life"

"No matter what?"

"It´s what I promised the day we married. No matter what" he nodded and seeming pleased with the answer, she walked to give Tanya and Rosie a tight hug.

"I love you both" she whispered, walking away to place a kiss on Azaria´s head after.

"And you behave, sweetie"

With a last glance at her purse, she smiled and walked out of the room.

"I will be right back"

Totally engrossed, Sam walked to stand beside Athos and looked down at him, until the pain became to sheer and his heart to exhausted, so he sat on the sofa too and lovingly pulled Azaria to doze on his lap.

Not saying a word, the dynamos looked at each other. Being so overwhelmed, he didn´t notice, but they very well knew something wasn´t right. And the feeling always unlatched the same button inside: when something was wrong, they would have to fix it. So when he finally took the bag Sophie had left with his clothes – not eyeing yet the one containing Donna´s – and walked into the bathroom to try and do something to fix his look, Tanya walked out leaving Rosie stood there looking over the sleeping kids.

"Oh, my God… Why do I have this strange awful feeling, beautiful angels?"

And her voice echoed slightly, but there was no answer.

*

When walking out of the room, Sophie immediately took the bottle she brought from her mother`s drawer into her hand and stepped out of the building. Nervous and restless, she wished she smoked, so she would have something to instinctively do next without having to think about it. She hated to think at that very moment. And she decided it wasn`t such a bad idea after all. So she placed her right foot on the street to walk into the drugstore across and get the cigarettes.

Something she should have never done.

Night haven`t fall yet, but it was starting to get dark, and when she saw the lights nearly over her, Sophie`s eyes opened wide and she gasped, at the same time startled and frozen.

That was the last thing she knew before the silver car hit her and she ended up lying face up on the street. A deep cut bleeding across her face, she screamed as a breath-depriving tide of pain lashed her body when she tried to move. She was still tightly holding the bottle in her hands and she couldn`t feel her legs.

The car driver ran his hand through his hair in despair, knowing it wasn`t his fault but feeling guilty for the young woman`s state. Sophie trashed her head from side to side while Tanya walked out of the Hospital and screamed her name, instantly kneeling next to her.

"Sophie, w-what happened?"

Trying not to sound despaired herself, and seeing the tears falling from the brunette`s eyes she forced a smile.

"I think I´ve been hammered, aunt Tanya. I´ll be alright"

As her head fall back down, the bottle rolled from her hand and the dynamo took it, looking at Sophie again after reading the inscription and checking on it. It was full of sleeping tablets. She swallowed hard, not daring to put a question about what she already suspected before.

"What did you have planned, young lady?"

She jumped slightly when Sophie grabbed her arm to barely mumble:

"Please, tell mom I love her"

And she closed her eyes.

Tanya started applying pressure on her chest to have her breathing again when the paramedics came and took her inside the building. She buried her head in her hands, sat on the sidewalk and cried, as 40 years of a hard life, three failed marriages and the depriving of a kid of her own couldn`t break her before.

*

Tanya was still sat o the street, unable and unwilling to shake the dirt from her Prada skirt and Loubotins to be her the one breaking the news to Rosie, and specially Sam. She had seen him so hurt and upset and she knew he loved Donna so much that she didn`t know how much more could the poor man bear. Why was destiny suddenly winded up against them?

But she knew she couldn`t sit there forever, explaining to every stranger and to the driver that she wasn`t the girl`s mother. Finally, the driver left and made his statement at a near police station, as Tanya raised, cleaning herself with the back of her hand and determined to walk back in. All that, while a nurse broke into the room Sam had just walked back in, all changed and shaved.

The most handsome smile bloomed in his face when the nurse said they had gotten a donor for Donna, they were going to start the surgery but they needed him to sign the form and authorization. Unable to believe it, after the blow of shock, he took the pen and signed instinctively, not saying anything since the sudden happiness was getting him drunk, until Rosie approached to speak. It was just a miracle.

"How long will the surgery take?"

"Around five hours, Mrs…"

"Ms. Rosalee Mulligan. Will she survive?"

Checking the information, the nurse blinked and replied.

"It seems very likely she will, she`s fighting hard, but all depends on how she takes the new heart!"

Sam`s smile widened as he nearly felt Donna standing beside him again, smiling and lovingly wrapping her arms around him, also longing to hold their baby and whispering on his ear.

"And who`s the donor, can we know?"

Flipping through the pages, she lifted her eyes to look at them again.

"Let me see… Mmm… Here it is… Sheridan. Sophia Sheridan"

Maybe some miracles are not that miraculous after all…

*

_AN: Whoa! There it is. I gotcha, right? You were not expecting that! What will happen next? Press the lil button and I´ll let you know as soon as I can! Loves you all! Mel._


	6. Seasons of the heart

**********

Chapter VI: Seasons of the Heart

**********

**Thanks for the review. Sorry for the delay, been working 14 hours a day lately. Sorry cause this is crap.**

**Thanks to Liv, Charliee, Gemma and Karola for your support. Love you really!**

*

_Sheridan. Sophie Sheridan. Sheridan. Sophie Sheridan._

The words were still echoing in Rosie´s head as her mouth fell open and she shook her head. It wasn´t possible. It just wasn´t.

"It was a car accident. She came in dead"

"C-can we see her? We are her family, too…"

The young woman was first shocked at the situation, and finally mumbled.

"I´m sorry, we had her registered as a donor, and as she´s not underage we didn´t need the family´s signature so she´s on the surgery room already. We need to start as soon as possible to save your wife…"

Sam and Rosie looked at each other, neither of them saying a word.

"Did she suffer?"

"No, it was almost instant. Her spine was broken"

"Her spine?"

"Yes, she would have been a handicap if she survived"

He nodded and ran his hand through his hair, certainly overwhelmed. There was nothing else to be said.

"I´m sorry. We´ll keep you informed about Mrs. Carmichael condition"

"Please. Thank you"

Tanya rushed into the room when the nurse walked out, and seeing Sam plunging into the coach she knew no words were needed. He had just been stabbed to the very soul. Sitting next to him she gently wrapped an arm around his shaking shoulder. He was fighting hard the tears, but the blow had an earth-moving strength.

"How am I going to tell her this? How am I going to tell her she´s living with Sophie´s heart? Her own daughter´s heart?"

"You don´t…" Rosie started, sitting at the other side of the sofa.

"You don´t have to tell her"

"What?!" he exclaimed, looking confused, the thought of lying to her precious wife never crossing his mind.

"We can tell her we don´t know who the donor is. She will never know"

"She will never know…" he whispered back, burying his head in his hands "She… will… never… know"

And there wasn´t more. Despite the fact they got a new heart for Donna they couldn´t cheer and celebrate it, not knowing how to understand that unbelievably cruel fate´s sense of humour.

An hour later, Rosie offered to take a sleeping Azaria back to the Villa and left, after getting the promise they´ll keep her updated and ensuring them she would sleep with an ear on the phone.

Darkness.

Silence.

As Sam had complained of a headache and asked the light off, the room was barely lit. He buried his body on the sofa as much as his mind was buried in despair. Sophie was gone. Donna wasn´t back. So when the nurse slowly pushed the door open, an otherworldly lightness washed over them. A message from beyond the tomb. Someone unexpectedly coming back to the world.

"She´s doing very well. She´ll be here soon" the short woman announced with a smile and walked away again.

With a deep sigh of relief, he smiled in silence. No word would have done justice to the depth of his feelings. There was none.

After the relief first stole a smile from her face, the brunette fixed her gaze on her friend´s husband and started playing nervously with her necklace. It was agony. She called. But Rosie didn´t pick up her phone, probably soothing a crying Azaria. She left a voice message and put her phone aside.

Biting her lower lip, Tanya walked to sit beside Sam and wrapped an arm around his shoulder. She knew she was going to slap hard across his face, but there was no times for reveries. She was shaken deep inside, but she was also the most cold-minded one, not because she didn´t have feelings, but because she had perspective over them. In moments like this, Rosie was more the non-rational emotional mess. And that is why also, she usually hit the answer first.

"What are you going to tell her, honey?"

Sam groaned and buried his face in his hands. He couldn´t do it. Neither tell Donna the truth or lie to her. Tanya could read this, and she wouldn´t be saying it if it wasn´t because she knew he needed to hear it.

"She´ll be here in a short time. She´ll have questions and she´ll want answers. So you better think of something… and soon"

Shaking his head, he wiped his tears and sighed.

"This will never end, right? It doesn´t mind what I do. She won´t be happy never again, nevertheless I tell her or not. Her daughter, our daughter, is gone…The light is gone"

"Good lord, that´s true… But there are things you have to look forward to. First one, Athos. He´s your baby, he´s worth fighting for. And there´s you, you mean so much to her, you have saved her in so many ways, you can still do so… Finally… I don´t think Donna should know she haves her daughter´s heart beating in her chest… that will kill her inside… and she will have a bloody reason"

"I… don´t… know" he mumbled in a faltering voice "I can´t lie to her, Tanya. I can´t lie about this"

"For the very first time… I think you should"

"You do?" he asked, staring deep into her eyes.

"It´s up to you" she sighed, shaking her head.

After giving it a second thought, Sam opened his mouth to say something but forgot it instantly when they opened the door and took Donna back into the room. And when the doctor walked in too, listening had been more important than breathing.

"So, how is she, Doctor?"

"Everything seems to be going alright… the heartbeats are strong and steady and she should be waking during the next hours. Just try to keep her calm"

Smiling, Sam thanked the Doctor and he stepped out. The man turned to stare at his wife and smiled at her, placing a tender kiss on her lips and stroking her hair. Tanya walked to take her friend´s hand and smiled at her.

"She´ve always been strong…"

"I don´t know if anyone is strong enough for what she´ll have to take when she wakes…"

"We are women, Sam. We are strong to depths you cannot imagine" she smiled, then kissing his cheek and walking away "I´m going to see Rosie and leave you alone with her. Give us a call if anything happens"

But she was gone before he could nod and say "Thanks".

Sam turned to stare adoringly at his wife and hold her hand tight, smiling at her for ages until tiredness got the better of him and he positioned to lie by her side, wrapping his arms around her now slim body and leaning her close.

"I love you so much baby, please wake up soon"

Noticing the faint smile drawing on her face he repeated his words softly and kissed her cheek, falling asleep instantly next to her. And the lifeless silence fell over the room again.

*

Hours crawled away and the sun filtered through the windows, hitting Donna´s face fully. She opened her eyes slowly and groaning at how sore and ill she felt, but as soon as she realized her beloved husband´s arms were wrapped around her, everything else fainted and the love she felt filled her new heart. She placed soft kisses down his neck, smiling against his skin, until he stirred slightly.

"I love that smell" she whispered softly on his ear and inhaling his partum deeply.

Smiling, he placed a tender kiss on her lips and watched her, speechless.

"I love you" she smiled back and intertwined her fingers with his.

"I love you too"

Smiling wider, she placed her hand over her belly and, for a breathless moment, she nearly lost consciousness again when she noticed her flat stomach and panicked.

"S-Sam… what happened to our baby?"

"He´s perfect, and gorgeous"

"It´s a boy?" she smiled in relief, just happy to know the baby was alive, and he nodded, making her smile wider "Does he look like you?"

Laughing softly, he looked back lovingly at her.

"I think he will"

"Oh" Donna giggled "He´ll have me totally wrapped around his little finger"

Flooded with happiness, she threw her arms around her husband´s neck and kissed him forcefully.

"I know you wanted a girl honey, but…" she said looking down, as her voice trailed off.

Placing his hand under her chin to meet her gaze, he kissed her softly.

"It´s fine. I wanted… a child with you"

"I do love you! Can I… see him?"

"He´s there" Sam said, signaling the incubator in the corner.

"H-he´s on an incubator? W-why" she mumbled trying to stand and walk to him, tears welling up in her eyes.

"He was too small, baby, but he will be fine. He will" he answered smiling and gently pulling her back to lie on bed again.

"What`s wrong with me?" she softly demanded, wincing in pain.

"You´ve had two surgeries, no wonder you are in such pain"

"Why am I here Sam? What happened?"

"Everything is fine sweetheart, don´t you worry" he said, kissing her forehead gently.

"Is that truth? Will he be fine? Will I be fine?" she asked, fixing her gaze on him and guiding their intertwined hands to rest on her chest as her husband nodded.

"You both will. I promise"

Smiling, she kissed the back of his hand.

"Then, tell me…"

"You…" he sighed "You had a heart attack… And they had to perform a cesarean to save Athos… and you"

"Athos?"

"You like the name?"

Willing for him to carry on, she just nodded in agreement

"He was too small, so they had to put him there… It´s just for a few days, tough. And then, we´ll be free to hold him"

"I can´t wait to hold and feed our baby boy, darling"

"I know"

"And what about… me?" she then frowned, and he laid back by her side again, kissing her gently to stop her from trying to stand again.

"You´ve got… a new heart"

"What?! A heart surgery?" she exclaimed, running her hand down her chest, and he nodded in silence "Who´s the donor?"

And there it was. The question he wished he didn´t have to answer…

"We don´t… know"

_Done._

"It must have been very hard to find a heart for me… I got lucky"

With his wife only knowing half of the truth, Sam didn´t know if he could agree with her last statement.

Sighing happily, she cuddled against him and slid her hand into the open buttons of his shirt.

"Thank you… so much. You have no idea how good it felt to wake up wrapped in your arms"

"Oh, God" he exclaimed, nuzzling into her hair "You have no idea how good it was to see you wake"

"I promise baby, with all my heart, or the heart I have, that I´ll never give up on you or our children. All this year you´ve made me so unbelievably happy had convinced me that what we have is and always was worth fighting for"

"And the best thing is… we still have a lot of years ahead to be happy. And I promise to be there every single day"

Smiling, she wrapped her arms around his neck and placed a passionate kiss on his lips, taking in the sweet sensation of their deep love. Breaking the contact for the few necessary seconds, she removed her nightgown, trying not to wince and plunged into his lips again.

"Please… make love to me, baby" she pleaded, unbuttoning his shirt and sliding her hand down his chest to the waistband of his trousers.

"Here? We can´t sweetheart, you…"

"I don´t care where we are. I don´t care about the pain. I want you. I need you. Please…"

He stared at her in silence, and having his heart break at her begging expression, he handed the white piece back at her. Having to deny her what she so desperately wanted was the most hurtful thing he ever had to do.

Taking the nightgown in her hands she blushed, using it to cover her body, and looked away to hide her running tears.

"Y-you don´t want me anymore? Why? What did I do wrong? Please tell me, I´ll do whatever it takes for you to… love me again" she whispered, wiping her tears and looking down, ashamed.

"I love you Donna, with all my heart and more than you will ever know"

"Then what is it sweetheart?" she asked softly, stroking his cheek "Why don´t you want me anymore? I love you too, so much it hurts…"

"Donna" he whispered, placing his hand over hers "Don´t ever think I don´t love you or I don´t want you never again. That will never happen"

"That´s all I need to know" she replied, shaking her head and smiling relieved, to place another slow alluring kiss on his lips.

Moaning when she reached his belt and unbuckled it, he broke apart before it was too late, taking her hands in his gently.

"Look, baby, there´s nothing I would like more than giving in to your wish…"

"Then why, why are you pushing me away?" she demanded, the hurt evident behind her flooding tears.

Not knowing how to start explaining what just happened the day before, he ran his hands through his hair and sighed, before looking into her eyes. Plain and simple.

"I don´t want to hurt you"

Giggling, she smiled at the sweetness of his comment and placed her hand on his chin, stroking delicately.

"You won´t. You never will. You are the most perfect and caring lover I ever had. The only one I want"

"Believe me, honey, if I could be sure of that, I would be stripping you off myself. You´re so beautiful and you´re wonderfully sexy" he whispered, placing a soft kiss on her neck and then her shoulder, stealing a soft purr from her lips "But I just… can´t forget what happened"

"So you do want me" she giggled, blushing slightly and fixing her eyes on him when he nodded, melting her with that charmful grin whose magical spell she knew so well "What happened?" she inquired, squeezing his hand and piercing his soul with her big green eyes.

"Very much. But first of all, you just had a heart surgery, lovely… So don´t even think about the Hotel, at least for the next month" he replied slowly, gently pushing them to lie on the bed again and holding her close. Happily, she cuddled against him and rested her head on the crease of his neck.

"And what about… the other thing?" she chuckled playfully, nibbling his ear seductively.

"We can give that two weeks" he answered, grinning and looking back at her.

Giggling, she pretended her mouth to drop open.

"So I´m not allowed to work at the Villa, but YOU are allowed to work on me?"

"Nice way to put it darling, I thought that was what you wanted" he whispered laughing and kissed her again.

Donna blushed bright red and reluctantly broke apart from her husband, when her two friends entered the room and shook their heads at her, chuckling in disbelief, Rosie carrying a sleeping Azaria and Tanya a bucket of colorful flowers.

"Why in this world do we worry about you, Donna? You are fucking wonder woman!"

Her jaw dropping open at her friend´s statement, she squealed, pointing the little girl.

"Language Tanya! There are innocent underage girls around"

"You know, I don´t think I am the major threat about the subject for this princes of yours" she replied, raising an eyebrow.

"Shut up" Donna said softly, blushing again as Sam laughed and kissed her cheek, still having her tightly wrapped in his arms.

"You know, the poor girl was so excited about seeing you that she was up ridiculously early and now she´s all tired again" Rosie smiled, trying to change the subject and closing the door behind her.

"Now, if you excuse me Mr., I really want to see my babies" Donna smiled, trying to stand, just to be hold back by her husband.

"Darling, you shouldn´t be trying to walk yet…"

Rolling her eyes, she muttered walking away.

"Sam, don´t. I just had a surgery, I´m not invalid…"

She approached to hug her friends and place a kiss on top of Azaria´s head.

"Thank you for being here girls, I love you"

"We are so happy to see you cheered up like this, Donna" they replied, looking at each other in amazement "And we love you too"

Smiling sweetly at her friends, she then walked to stand next to her new little baby.

"How are you my lovely Athos? This is your mommy"

Pressing her hand against the glass, tears cascaded down her cheeks at the intensity of her feelings and her desire to hold her son.

"I love you so much my gorgeous musketeer. I promise to be an amazing mom"

Closing her eyes, she allowed the tears to fall freely and sat in a chair next to her adored child, knowing she wouldn´t leave that place for the days to come.

"He really looks like you sweetheart" she smiled, looking up at her husband.

"Is that good or bad?" he grinned, walking to sit by her side so she´ll rest her head on his shoulder. Wiping her tears lovingly, he awaited her answer.

"Depends on how much you want him to be spoiled"

Smiling widely at her, he kissed the top of her head.

"And how many girls do you want to have chasing him. I already don´t like the idea…"

"Are you saying…?"

"You are irresistible, and he definitely got the Carmichael charm" she cut him, placing a loving kiss on his lips.

"Charm, huh?" he replied, running his hand down her back to squeeze her rear. She squealed and blushed immediately, as the dynamos burst out laughing.

"See the problems falling for you had gotten me into?" Donna asked her husband, extending her arms for Rosie to hand Azaria to her as Tanya placed the flowers on a vase.

"Thanks for the flowers and for the kid, darlings" Donna exclaimed, admiring the daisies next to her bed and placing a devoted kiss on the girls head, stroking her beautiful black hair, while her friends took a seat on the sofa and she smiled at them.

"So, where´s Sophie? Have you seen her already?"

*

**A/N: Reviews, please?**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter VIII: Heartbreak**

***  
**

_First of all, HAPPY BIRTHDAY FOR MY DARLING KAROLA! Have the best day ever hun, happy birthday and hope you enjoy your pressie! Loads and loads of love and hugs._

_Thanks to Liv for reading this through! Mwahs and hugs_

_To Shanice, because I know she will be nice enough to let all that everything to me :D. You know what I mean ;). Hugs and love too._

_And at last, BUT NOT LEAST, hugs and love for Gem and Gwen! Love u both too._

_Thanks so much for the reviews, they squeezed this one out of my system! lol_

*

"S-Sophie?" they all stuttered, looking away.

"Yes… Sophie" an afraid Donna mumbled softly through the knot in her throat and raising her hands to her chest, her motherly instinct immediately telling her something was wrong. _Very_ wrong.

"Please, tell me…" she nearly whispered and already in tears when the silence started to drown her "Tell me" she repeated in a desperate tone.

"She…" Sam started, running his hand through his hair and not wanting to look her in the eye "She died Donna" he spitted, as if it was the only way to do it.

Donna´s mouth fell open, but she couldn´t let any sound escape her lips. Not screaming, not crying, not a word. She started shaking and lacking of air, shocked, holding Azaria against her body so tight she woke her up.

"You didn´t have to tell her like that, Sam" Tanya hissed, frowning.

"Yes, what the hell is wrong with you?" Rosie added, taking Azaria from Donna´s arms as the brunette wrapped her arms around her friend, so she would have a shoulder to cry on.

"I´m… sorry" he whispered, hurt and confused, looking at his beloved wife drown in her tears over her friend´s shoulder and walked out of the room before breaking down. It was too much to handle.

Rosie walked out of the room to sooth the young girl and prevent her from asking further, finally settling her into Sam´s arms. He was about to say something when she shot him a warning look to stop him to bring the subject in front of the kid and walked back to her friends.

"How did it happen Tanya?" Donna asked between sobs, burying her head on her friend´s hair "When? She sounded so happy on the phone earlier…"

Tanya gulped uncomfortably, knowing the full blown truth was way harder than what she pretended to tell her friend.

"It was a car accident, darling" the brunette replied soothingly, stroking her friend´s hair "She didn´t suffer"

"My baby girl… it can´t be true. Why?" she said, breaking in tears again

Remembering the scene she found when walking out of the Hospital, Tanya couldn´t help to start crying herself, but wiped her tears immediately knowing her friend was the one who needed help and support.

"I don´t know why, honey…"

Just then, Rosie walked into the room and wrapped her arms around her friend too. Both stood there, whispering her friend words of wisdom as they best know, until tiredness got the best of her and Donna fell into a restless asleep. They put her back onto bed and, giving Athos a last loving glance, walked out to face Sam.

He was sat on the waiting room, his arms wrapped around Azaria, who was bended over a coloring book. It seemed… so normal. Rosie kneeled in front of her and smiled sweetly.

"Do you want an ice cream, sweetie?" she asked, getting a frantic nod in reply "Come on, then" she added, extending her arms to the young girl.

"I will be right back, uncle Sam" she said, kissing his cheek tenderly and running to Rosie´s arms, who took her away quickly.

"Sam, what the fuck where you thinking?!" Tanya hissed once they were alone "She´s crashed now"

Hiding his head on his hands, he sighed deeply and cleared his throat to keep his voice from breaking.

"What was I supposed to say, Tanya? If you forgot, Sophie was my daughter too"

Sighing, she took a seat next to him and placed her hand on his shoulder.

"We´re being too hard on you. Sorry…"

"What are we going to do? I don´t even know if she will want to see me"

"She will. And yet if she doesn´t, she will need you. Don´t leave her"

Astounded, he looked into her eyes.

"I could never leave her"

"Good. You know what really happened, right?"

"What do you mean?"

"What she was going to do"

"What was she going to do? She crossed the street and a truck hit her"

"Sophie was about to kill herself Sam, to save her mother"

"Wait a minute… What?"

"You heard" she answered, nodding.

"That will kill Donna, if she ever finds out"

"There are a lot of things she can´t find out Sam, and you have to be there to help her focus on Athos"

"It won´t be easy. She…"

"She devoted those last 22 years of her life to Sophie. True"

"What can I do?"

"She will break down, Sam. Don´t let her"

"I am not going to let her Tanya. That´s what I promised when we married. I never lied to her and I never will. Even when I was engaged and hid it, I loved her, that´s the reason I did it, I love her, and I never, for a single second, thought about leaving her alone. Not back then. Not now"

"She´s really lucky to have you" Tanya smiled "You have no idea how many nights she cried herself to sleep over you all those years ago. I think she still did until the very same day you came back to her life"

"Believe me, I do know" he smiled and walked away, whilst the brunette wrapped her arms around herself, alone with her thoughts.

"Where the fuck is the alcohol when you need it?" she sighed.

*

Shaking his head to clear his head, Sam opened the door and walked into her wife´s room, sighing once again in helpless despair.

Leaning against the door, he stared at her and smiled. Twenty four hours seemed such a short space of time to be through all that pain and heartache. And of all the thoughts that could cross his mind, it was her breath-taking beauty and her gorgeous smile what got his attention.

"And yet, she´s as beautiful and peaceful as an angel" he whispered, walking to stroke her face lovingly and tuck a strand of hair behind her ear "I love you so much you will never know"

"I know how much and I love you more" she mumbled back hoarsely from the crying and took his hand gently, as he slid under the covers next to her.

"I thought you were asleep sweetheart. You need to rest" he whispered sweetly on Donna´s ear, wrapping his arms around her tightly.

"I can´t. I will never sleep again, Sam" she replied, cuddling closer against him and flooding his shoulder in tears.

He rubbed her back gently and covered her face with soft kisses whilst mumbling loving words in her ears, until her tired body stopped shaking and her motherly eyes ran out of tears, until her breath steadied and she reached for his lips weakly.

"Thank you for being so supportive, baby. Your kindness is heart-melting"

"I said I love you woman" he started, returning the kiss to her soft honey lips "There´s no place I would rather be than by your side. And that goes for the rest of my life"

"Thank you. Thank you so much. I need you here. I need your love. What would I do…?" she answered, interrupting herself when she couldn´t resist the urge to approach his lips again, melting her sadness in a passionate kiss that lifted their souls and left him breathless and confused.

"And what was that for, honey?" he smiled, stroking her flustered face.

"That´s… for being my perfect man" she whispered, placing a teasing kiss on his neck and cuddling tighter against him, resting her head on his chest. He smiled contented and kissed her hair gently "I´m cold" Donna added, trying not to shiver.

"Shhh…" he soothed her, pulling the blanker further around their bodies and rocking her to sleep.

Hours after she had fallen into an exhausted sleep again, he was still holding her and stubbornly awake, thinking about Tanya´s words and about everthing his wife just said.

_She thinks I´m perfect… and I´m acting as a lying bastard. But it is for her own good… Isn´t it? Isn´t it? _He sighed and buried his head in her hair, taking in her sweet scent and still stroking her delicately. _Nothing will change the fact I love you like this._

She was like a gorgeous doll in his arms and he placed butterfly kisses on her face until a faint smile slowly crept to her lips. She was alive. She was safe. And she would be alright.

He would make sure of it.

Then, relief filled Sam´s heart and he placed the most delicate kiss on her curled up lips before he finally fell asleep too in exhaustion.

*

Sam opened his eyes, to what seemed just a few minutes after for him, when he felt the sun uncomfortably hitting his face and blinked to adjust to the light. Immediately, he saw his wife bend over their new-born son and wipe her endless tears. So lost and helpless, she looked like a ghost from her usual self. And if there was something yet to break, it broke his heart.

He left the bed discreetly and wrapped her arms around her slim body from behind.

"Thank God" she sighed, grabbing his hands in hers firmly and resting against him, not parting her eyes from her baby boy and placing her hand over the glass lovingly. He tightened his hold on her and kissed her cheek.

After a few long minutes, she turned and rested her head on his chest, sobbing quietly but rhythmically and wrapping her arms around him tightly. He sighed and hugged her close, fighting his own tears.

"This is not fair. I gave birth twice and I have no child to hold. I want to hold my babies"

"I know baby, I know" he soothed her, kissing her hair tenderly "They will take him out of there soon"

"But I will never see Sophie again. I couldn´t even say goodbye. It is not fair on any mother"

Speechless, he sat down and pulled her into his lap, still holding her.

"But you know what hurt me most?" she continued in a void tone.

"What?" he asked to give her an answer, not knowing if telling would do her good or not.

"I had a dream…"

"A dream about?" he responded, caressing Donna and kissing her skin, trying to make her ticklish and relax her.

"About us" she said, finally giggling slightly under his touch and raising her face to kiss him briefly.

"And…?"

"We were at our spot down at the beach, we just had an amazing love making session and I was cuddling against you over the warm sand, quite sleepy… and so happy"

"That´s… interesting" he smiled, placing a kiss on her neck. She tilted her head back and blushed.

"You have a one track mind, Carmichael"

"Me?!" he exclaimed amused, looking up at her "I wasn´t the one dreaming about me being inside of you"

"Stop it" she said blushing further.

"You are so lovely when you do that"

"That´s not the point" she added looking down, whilst her smile fainted and he squeezed her hand reassuringly "Then, then…" she breathed deeply, trying not to burst in tears again "Then Sophie came down with Athos in her arms and I could hold them both so tight…"she trailed off, unable to restrain the pain anymore "We had lunch and laughed… and I fed our baby boy. You were teasing me, as usual, about me looking hot. I actually enjoyed hearing it. But I woke. And I found out all this wasn´t a nightmare, the dream was the lie. And it was the hardest thing I ever had to do. Waking up every morning and realizing once again it is indeed real"

Donna shut as her voice cracked, and cried her soul out in his arms, as she would do for many nights to come… until her heart felt numb and her swollen eyes hurt.

"I don´t know how deeper my heart can sink, Sam. I don´t know how much more can I take"

"You can take whatever, sweet baby, you can take everything. Because I am here. Because our son is here. Because you are an angel"

*

**Sorry it´s crappy :/ Want more? Press the button please! Love to you all xxxxx. M.**


	8. Chapter 8: A ray of sunshine

**Chapter VIII: A ray of sunshine**

*.*.*

_Hey you all! Ok, first this is a bis of chapter eight because I got confused at some point xxxx._

_It´s crap but I hope you enjoy, sorry if I can´t update often or something better. Hope you don´t quit on me._

_Liv: sent this to you like 3 times. Guess you never got it. Sorry :( Mwahs and hugs xxxxxx_

_Shanice: HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Enjoy your present! Have a wonderful day and thanks for being an amazing friend! :D You knowwww I´m sending the God your way! You know how much I love our convos and love ya too my soul sis 4 ever. *big bear hug and party going on*_

_Gwen: Hope you get to read this! You are like OMG the best ever ! thans so much for the postcard and the DVD! Loved them so much! And I´m gonna have something sent your way, hope you get it soon! And I´m gonna write our next chap soon! Love you so very much and wish you will have the most amazing birthday ever! Enjoy this present for you xxxxx_

_Karola and Gem: Love you too dynamos xxxxx Thanks for saying you wanted to read D. Hugs and loads of love beyond words..._

_Thanks to you 4 cause you are the most amazing friends ever girls xxxxxxx_

_AND happy birthday to the amazing Meryl Streep! You are trully wonder woman xxxxx 33_

*.*.*

Sam opened his eyes and stretched slightly on the hospital couch. Looking around he found Donna stood next from the incubator, with her right hand over the glass and crying. It had been the same for the whole last week. She will cry herself to sleep in his arms just to fall in a restless sleep, waking up a few hours later to break down again over the image of their baby boy and the absence of her daughter.

_What can I do to help you sweetheart? Please tell me what can I do?_

He stood and went to wrap his arms around her and she turned to cry on his shoulder, while he sat and pulled her to his lap. He kissed her cheek and stroked her hair, but she wasn´t calming down. Holding her tight, she pulled them to gently lie down on the sofa.

"You need to sleep baby"

"I can´t. I just can´t"

"You look exhausted tough. They can give you a pill to help you"

"No"

"What? Why?"

"I don´t want to" she replied coldly, turning around in his arms away from him.

Sam sighed, hearing her stifled sobs against the pillow. He nuzzled his head on her neck and gently kissed her skin.

"I love you my Donna bear"

She turned again to lean her head on his chest

"I love you too"

He trailed his hand up and down her back, trying her best to sooth her and not sure what else to say anymore. It was true she needed his love, but he wished there was something else he could do than just lie by her side, because it wasn´t working wonders.

"They said they would take him out today. When are they going to take him out?"

"I don´t know, but I can go and ask if you want"

She nodded and a butterfly smile brushed her lips when he kissed her forehead and left the room to find a nurse.

"Morning miss. I´m Athos Carmichael´s father and we were wondering when will he be out of the incubator"

"Not until the Doctor checks on him Mr."

"And when will that be?"

"It´s 5 a.m. now, not for the next 4 hours"

She walked away and he ran his hand through his hair, powerless. Four hours were nothing compared to the days of hell they had been living, but it was going to be agony. Slowly, he stepped back into the room and was relieved to find she had magically fallen asleep. Not wanting to disturb his wife, he sat on a chair next to her, holding her hand and smiling at how peaceful she actually looked when she was sleeping. Feeling physically and emotionally exhausted too he laid next to her and carefully wrapped his arms around her waist, falling asleep too immediately.

His eyes fluttered open again later, when hearing the door shut. He found his wife leaning her head on his chest and staring at him. Sam smiled and kissed her lips briefly, as they noticed the Doctor standing next to them. Both smiled and greeted her.

After shaking their hands, the woman headed to the incubator and watched over the baby, taking a few notes and checking on the drip and tubes. They waited, eyes wide open and unable to breathe.

"Everything seems to be alright" she smiled "We can take him out now, his lungs are working properly already"

Donna raised both her hands to her heart, speechless, and smiled.

"Thank you" Sam smiled too, wrapping an arm around his wife and shaking the Doctor´s hand.

"I´ll send a nurse then. Have a nice day"

The door shut again and they were left alone.

Once again Donna placed her hand over the glass and for the first time she smiled.

"My sweet boy, I want to hold you and feed you so much"

Sam smiled and held her hand intertwining their fingers. She smiled at him and leaned on his chest.

"I missed your smile so much" he whispered, kissing her cheek.

She took both his hands in hers and kissed his fingers.

"Thank you for being there to hold me every time I´m falling apart"

"Hey, I´m your husband, that´s my job baby"

"No, is not" she smiled, kissing him softly.

He slid his hand down her back, kissing her gently, until it suddenly turned into a passionate kiss, her body leaning against his and her arms tightly wrapped around him.

"Don´t get too excited baby, your heart can´t take it yet" he whispered, breaking apart slowly.

"I just… want you" she groaned, leaning on his chest.

"I promise it will worth the wait" he smiled, kissing her nose. Not because it was easy for him, he also wanted no more than rip the hospital gown away from her body, but because he knew he had to be strong for her.

"Why isn´t the nurse coming?"

"I don´t know sweetheart, it´s been a long while already"

"I´m going to call her"

"No darling" he took her hand "Don´t leave the room"

"I want him out" she responded, tearing up.

"I know, I want to hold him too, but you have to wait here and lay down. I promise they will give our son to you"

"They doctor said they can take him out already" she groaned.

Sam lifted Donna in his arms and carried her to the bed, laying her down softly and placing a gentle kiss on her forehead, her eyelids and her lips, lying next to her and holding her hand again.

"I love you Carmichael" she whispered, giggling at the brief kisses he was constantly placing on her lips.

"I love you too… to the moon and back"

"That sounds funny"

"Does it?"

"Yes"

He was about to kiss her again when the nurse finally walked in. Donna tried to sit up and go to her child, but Sam lovingly pulled her to lay back on the bed.

"Wait here lovely, I´ll bring him"

Smiling, Donna nodded. Sam was marveled by the way her face lit up.

He stood next to the nurse and watched her take the drip and all the wires away, the last week being washed by a deep relief. The nurse handed the baby to him and left the room.

"That´s my son. You´re all strong now" he smiled kissing his head.

Donna was looking at Sam expectantly, so he went to sit next to her and placed the baby in her arms. Looking down at her son, she tear up and held his little hand.

"I love you my sweet boy. I always will"

The baby frowned and broke up crying.

"Oh, are you hungry my poor little one?"

She unbuttoned the hospital gown and raised him to her chest to be fed. It hurt her, but she had wanted so much to have her son in her arms. She smiled lovingly and kissed his head as he started eating.

"He´s such a perfect little thing"

"Yes, he is" Sam smiled, wrapping an arm around her shoulder and stroking the baby´s tiny arm.

"And I love the fact he looks like you"

He laughed and she turned her face to kiss him "Thank you. For everything you´ve given me"

"You´re very welcome beautiful"

She smiled lovingly at him.

"At least something is going alright now. I can´t wait to leave this place"

"Isn´t he the most wonderful baby we could get?"

She stared at her son adoringly and smiled.

"Yes"

"He needs you baby…" he whispered, stroking the back of her hand with her thumb.

"I know and I´m going to be there"

"I wish I could tell how much I love you"

"I know baby, I know" she said, leaning to kiss him softly "And I can´t get enough of your kisses"

"Me neither" he smiled, kissing her back.

"I really hope too I can take you both home soon" he said, kissing her forehead and then his son´s head.

Her heart melting, the sweetest smile crept to her lips.

"Have I ever told you how much I love your smile?" he whispered, leaning to kiss her tenderly.

"No, but if you gonna kiss me every time I smile, I will smile much more often"

"You know, I´ve already lost count of how many times I´ve kissed you this morning"

"My God, that´s true. But is not a bad thing tough. I am allowed to love kissing you and to be addicted to it too" she replied, then leaning to plunge into a passionate kiss with him

After Athos had been twenty four hours in observation, and he was found to be perfectly healthy, Donna was finally allowed to leave the hospital.

She breathed deeply and sighed happily when she felt the sun hitting her soft skin that morning. She heard her baby boy´s cry and it lifted her heart. He was alive. He was there. And she could just stand up and pick him up. She opened her eyes smiling, and her smile widened when the figure of her beloved husband hovering over their soon smiled back at her.

Walking to them quickly she kissed his cheek and took a blanket, immediately taking her child in her arms. And for a moment, the most heart-lifting sensation she ever felt washed over her when she took his hand and he wrapped her little fingers around hers.

"You know, you are my favorite little man in this world" she smiled kissing his button nose.

"Hey that hurt my feelings" Sam pouted at her, making her giggle.

Looking up back at him, she shook her head.

"Sorry sweetheart, you don´t fit in that category"

"And what category do I fit in then baby?" he smiled, wrapping his arms around her slim waist.

Leaning against his manly frame, she whispered

"Most handsome man in the world"

Still smiling, he kissed her delicately.

"I love you my Donna bear"

"I love you too. So much. You mean to me more than you will ever know"

"Believe me baby, I think I have a clue"

He trails his kisses down her neck as a soft moan escaped her lips.

"Stop, stop… we can´t do this now. I have to feed my baby"

"I´m sorry, but no. These are only mine" he giggled, squeezing her breasts.

"I said stop it" she squealed laughing and battled his hands away.

Forgetting about him, she unbuttoned her gown and fed her child, lovingly tracing her finger along his tiny arm.

"I… I had really forgotten you can feel a love like this" she whispered softly, wiping her tears as they immediately fall.

And it was like this every time.

They went back to their house, it was time to move on. But Donna just couldn´t. Everything she saw was Sophie, everything she heard was Sophie. Time and time she would break down crying her heart out, time and time Sam will try and comfort her. Endless nights will he have her falling asleep in tears in his arms. There was nothing he could do.

"And you still don´t know the worst baby" he sighed, placing a soft kiss on her forehead and wiping her tears for the hundredth time "You are so beautiful my love, I hate to see you cry"

When Atho´s cry burst through the baby monitor she woke and smiled at him

"I´m so sorry baby"

"Sorry? Why sweetheart?"

"Because I cry and I know you don´t like it" she replied, stroking his cheek.

"It´s ok, I know you need it. Go back to sleep, you just closed your eyes. I´ll check on him"

"You are an absolute angel"

"No. You are my angel and my goddess"

She blushed and he smiled sweetly at her leaving the room.

A month went by that way, and Donna was woke as every morning by her son´s early crying, feeling a sore weight in her heart and already damp in tears. _I wish this meaningless tears could be gone once and for all. Even when I´m never going to forget about you my beautiful Soph._

"Oh, I love you my baby, but I hate it when you wake this early."

For the first time since she was gone, Sophie wasn´t the first thing on her mind when she woke up that morning. _Will it be like this every day? Being the hardest thing to wake up and realize again it´s real, she´s not here, she´s gone?_ Time could make the pain subside and make it bearable, but deep inside her motherly heart Donna knew it was never going to disappear. Losing her child had been like a shot to her heart, and you can´t mend a heart broken like that. It would bleed for the rest of her life.

Groaning, she left the bed before her husband woke and went to pick up her baby. Yawning, she sat on the rocking chair to feed him, holding him tight and doing her best to stay awake. She was still wearing the same jeans and light white shirt from the day before and slowly getting used to the fact she would be all dressed up still when she woke. She knew her husband wasn´t happy about the fact they hadn´t been close in a month and a half, neither was she and she hated to disappoint him, but she hoped her doctor appointment that afternoon would change things between them. And Donna couldn´t wait to know he was satisfied with her again. She quickly found herself imagining the feeling of his hands trailing along her skin and his body over hers, his kisses, his…

Starting to shiver inside a soft moan escaped her lips, when she noticed her baby boy was finished with her. She smiled adoringly at her son and wrapped him in a blanket

"Come on my gorgeous sweet boy, we´re having a walk around the house"

She kissed his forehead and smiled lovingly, happy to have someone to rely her motherly love on. Holding him tight, she left the room and headed to the courtyard and gardens.

Never parting her eyes from her child, she saw him frown his nose and cough, the same way Sam did when something upset him.

"Aaaww, you´re just like your daddy" she melted, rocking him in her arms "And I love you so much"

He pouted and grabbed her finger tightly.

"Does that means I love you too my little man?"

"Hey… Donna" a manly voice said politely sitting next to her "Is that…?"

"My son. My gorgeous perfect baby boy" she completed proudly, looking up and swallowing her next words in surprise "…Sky"


	9. Ch 9: There are storms we cannot weather

**Chapter IX: There are storms we cannot weather**

_To my dynamos :) Love you girls!_

_To Shanice (I know there´s "something" you´re going to like in here). Mwahs, hugs and love!_

_Thanks for your review Liv, hope you like this one too and I´m glad you´re still reading. Take care xxxx_

_Hope someone will read and sorry if it´s not good xxxxx_

Donna´s mouth fell open when the thought of having her death daughter´s fiancée sat next to her sank into her mind.

"H-hey"

"Hey" Sky smiled "He´s gorgeous"

A heartfelt smile bloomed on her lips, as those words lifted her motherly heart.

"I didn´t know you were pregnant. When was he born?"

"Two weeks ago"

"Why didn´t Sophie tell me? Where is she? Is she ok? Is the baby alright?"

Hearing her name, made a lump strangle Donna´s throat. As tears formed in her eyes, she fought to put the only question that was lingering in her mind. But it wasn´t until tears started flowing down her cheeks that the word left her lips.

"B-Baby?"

"Yes, she was pregnant when I last saw her a month ago. Please don´t tell me she did it"

"Did… what?"

"Go to have the abortion"

Donna´s heart suddenly stopped.

"Abortion? Sky, what are you talking about? My daughter wasn´t like that. I raised her better than killing her own child. She wouldn´t do it, the same way I didn´t"

"I know Donna, it was me who asked her too"

"You asked her what?" she hissed in a low angered voice.

"I´m sorry. I got confused… and scared. I didn´t meant to threaten her, or pull her away"

"Oh my God"

"I just wasn´t thinking. I didn´t mean it. Where is she? I need to talk to her, please. Before…"

"Before what, Sky? You… You…" her voice faltered.

"Before she does it. I don´t want her to"

"She wasn´t pregnant"

"W-Wasn´t?" he stuttered, scared.

"It´s too late" she whispered shaking her head.

He just looked inquisitively at her, in despair.

"She´s dead. My baby girl is dead" Donna broke down crying "She died the day Athos was born"

"What? But… how?"

"A car… hit… her"

"Oh, my God. I don´t believe it. Soph…" he shocked.

"Get out of here" Donna yelled, unable to control her tears.

"But Donna…I just…"

"Get the fuck out of here. Now"

He could see she was shaking and knowing she was carrying her newborn son, Sky didn´t want to upset her more, when de knew her outburst was due to the deep pain in her heart. He slowly stood and started walking away.

Still shivering, she held Athos tightly against her chest. And he started to cry.

"Sssh, don´t cry my sweet boy" she smiled, wiping her tears and rocking him in her arms lovingly.

"Sky" she called "Wait"

He turned to look at her.

"Give me a minute to change his diapers and I´ll be back"

Seeing him nod, she walked back into the Villa and into her son´s nursery to get him cleaned up.

She got a bath ready for him and washed his body, whilst the feeling of having her child so close helped to heal the wound.

"Now you´re all clean and you smell like a teddy" she giggled and kissed his stomach "I love you my little baby"

"And I love you" Sam whispered into her ear, wrapping his arms around her waist from behind.

"Baby, you scared me" she jumped and giggled, turning her face to place a delicate kiss on his cheek. "When did you get in?"

"A few minutes ago. The door wasn´t closed"

Dressing him up, Donna then laid him down into his coat.

"Sleep time, my handsome prince"

"Oh, now he´s the handsome one? I´m jealous"

She turned around in his arms and kissed him tenderly, resting her hands on his chest.

He responded, tightening his arms around her slim waist to pull her closer.

She smiled, not breaking apart of his lips and their gentle kiss slowly grew urgent and passionate.

She groaned, breaking apart slowly when he unzipped her jeans.

"Baby, I…"

"Does it still hurt?" he sighed.

She stroked his cheek lovingly.

"Just a bit"

"So you don´t want to try yet"

"I do, believe me I do. You are the only one in my thoughts and in my heart"

"I like that"

"Cool, because it´s true"

He smiled pulling her closer.

"But now I´ve to go and see Sky"

"Sky? What?"

"He just… He… Oh, I have to tell you later…"

She runs away and started crying again, stopping half the way there.

"Donna" he called going after her.

She took a deep breath, trying to compose herself and angrily wiped her tears away.

"Stop crying, that´s not going to bring her back"

He finally got to Donna and wrapped his arms around her, holding her close.

"What´s wrong baby?"

"Nothing" she sighs "Nothing I can do something about"

He places his finger under her chin and lifted her face to meet her gaze, kissing her softly.

"I love you Donatella Carmichael, so much"

She smiled and responded to his kiss, wrapping her arms around him and deepening it.

Sam spun her around, pinning his wife against the wall and kissing her passionately.

Donna broke apart slowly, biting his lower lip when she couldn´t help the soft moan that escaped her lips.

"What is it about you that you´re irresistible?" she whispered, placing a seductive kiss on his neck.

"You´re torturing me woman" he groaned.

"Good, then you can have revenge later"

"I will" he smirked, leaning to kiss her again, but she put her index between their lips.

"I have to go"

"Where to?"

"I told you already. Please"

"Ok" he sighs "But don´t be long, I will be waiting" he whispered squeezing her butt and making her squeal.

"Don´t do that" she giggled.

"Why not? I like it and it reminds me you´re mine" he smiled doing it again and kissing her neck. She laughed and squealed again.

"I am, I am. Always and forever. Just stop" she said still giggling.

"Fine, baby fine" he smiled with a peck on her lips.

Looking up at him, she instantly melted at the sight of his handsome smile. It was as if, for that brief moment, he could completely straighten her shaken up world. Smiling back sweetly she took his hands and hers and placed them over her heart.

"How do you do to make me feel like this?"

"How?" He asked kissing her nose.

"Happy… and safe"

"Ok. I give you ten seconds or I´m going to kidnap you woman"

"No, don´t" she giggled running away and blew him a kiss.

He leaned on the wall watching her disappear and stepped back into their son´s nursery.

Walking slowly down the stone steps and twirling her hair around her finger with a happy smile, Donna walked to the beach to find Sky. She didn´t know or understand why, but her husband always had that magical effect on her of blowing all the gloom… away.

"Where would I be without you baby?" she whispered lovingly, sitting down next to her daughter´s fiancée.

"What?" he asked looking up to her.

"Nothing. Sorry" she replied shaking her head.

He nods "I´m sorry to… I never… planned all this to happen… I…"

Donna slid her arm around his shoulder, protectively.

"I understand. You didn´t know"

"I came here to marry her… I did want to raise our child together, and now…"

Donna sighed and took a deep breath to help herself from breaking.

"And now she´s… gone" he finished when his voice faltered and he hid his face between his legs, staying silent for a long while.

She just held her legs against her chest and rested her chin o her knees, staring at the waving sea and the fading sun, and as if she was there inside, she could feel how the water, minute by minute, drowned her sore motherly heart.

After a long silence, she suddenly fell back to reality and realized she had been heavily crying her heart out.

"I just want to know what happened with our child"

Donna sighs.

"I know. I wish I could… answer that. But all I know is… that she didn´t come back pregnant"

Not raising his head to look at her, he started crying.

"Come on, you need to take a shower and calm down" she said gently, grabbing his arm.

Nodding, he stood and followed her into a guestroom.

Lost in her thoughts, Donna walked back to her room and leaned against the door, wanting to relax a little before walking back to her husband. She knew he could raise her up when she was feeling crap, but it was unfair to her loving husband to break down on him once… and again… and again… and again.

She wrapped her arms around herself and smiled at the thought that the most perfect man she ever knew, the love of her life, was waiting at the other side. She squealed when the door opened and she fell straight into his arms.

"What are you doing here sweetheart?" he smiled lifting her up.

"Thinking of you, handsome" she smiled snaking her arms around his neck.

"Oh, I´ve waiting for you Mrs. Carmichael"

"Is there something for me inside that room?"

"Yes, there is. Just don´t tell my wife"

"You´re a bad man" she giggled as he carried her in.

_Anyone wants to know what´waiting for her in there? :P I still have a few aces under my sleeeeeve! Review and all will be revealed..._


	10. Ch X: Growing Up

**CH. X: Growing up**

_To my dynamos! :) (Here´s your fave fic update D )_

_To Shanice (I knowww you´re going to love this :P) and Patrice! :) _

_Love you girls!_

_Thanks so much for the reviews! They really keep me going :D_

_I know this took long (and I´m sorry, I am so busy :/ But I finally had my graduation! :D), so… enjoy!_

...

It was simple, but so extremely thoughtful at the same time. Donna couldn´t stop smiling as she watched the chilling champagne, the delicious appealing chocolates on a round crystal bowl, the single red rose on the white crystal vase, the lavender smell, the rose petals over the night table. And two single flutes waiting for them. The soft candle light giving it all a magic spell.

"Oh, God, you can melt my heart so easily. It truly scares me"

"You don´t have to be scared. I´ll never hurt you"

"I know, I know I can open my heart to you" Donna smiled lovingly as Sam placed her down onto the bed. Carefully, he laid on top of his wife and kissed her softly.

"This… is amazing baby. I can´t believe you planned it all for me" she mumbled between the light kisses.

"Anything for my girl" he smiled, taking the clip out of her hair.

"Aww. Shut up and kiss me" she giggled.

Not the one to be told twice, he immediately found her lips again, this time with a desperate passionate kiss that pulled a deep moan out of her soft lips.

"You know, you can drive me crazy"

"That´s good. I love it when you go all wild woman" he answered in a seductive tone, trailing his kisses down her neck.

She laughs tilting her head back, genuinely amused "I told you to kiss me"

"Your wish is my command, my queen"

She smiled sweetly, as his lips met hers again, loving and soft.

"I love you baby. So much"

"I love you too my Donna bear"

She deepened the kiss, as she opened her legs for him to lay between them and slid her hands down his chest, slowly but surely undoing the buttons of his pink shirt.

"If you want me to stop, tell me now"

"No one is asking you to stop"

"Don´t you always sound fabulous?"

"A moth and a half is long enough, we don´t have to wait anymore"

Never breaking the passionate contact with her lips, he undid the zip of her jeans and pulled them down, as she helped to remove the piece and kicked it aside.

"Oh, I don´t want to wait sweetheart"

"You´re making yourself too slow baby" she smirked.

"Slow, huh?"

He then quickly removed her white top and once again his lips followed the path of her jaw and neck, taking all control of her emotions. Donna closed her eyes in complete relaxation, knowing it was going to hurt but also sure it would be worth it. As his hands over her skin made her flinch, she suddenly felt the room was heating up out of the blue.

"I love the way your hands feel over my skin"

"It feels so soft" he whispered, moving his hands upper across her thighs until he reached her underwear, carelessly rubbing his thumb against the fabric of the cotton slip.

As she exhaled a loud moan, Donna slid her fingers down his chest to his waistline to remove his boxers, pulling them all the way down his legs and removing them with her feet, purposely trailing her toes up his leg afterward, grinning satisfied when he moaned, encouraging her to move her hands further down.

But he immediately grabbed her wrist and removed her hands, pinning her arms over her head.

"Oh, God, are you trying to kill me?" she groaned in frustration, squirming under his body. He was doing a wonderful job arousing her, and her body already felt like a boiling volcano.

His lips followed the way down her highly sensitive skin, flaming up her senses and awakening her most rich desires, until he reached her breasts and her body squirmed in delight, pleading for more.

He removed the remaining garments quickly, and the slip and bra that were still attached to her skin vanished in a single move, exposing her naked figure for his eyes to feast on it. He stopped moving to trail his eyes over her curves.

Suddenly feeling abandoned, she raised her head to meet his gaze, blushing immediately at the sight of the lust his eyes were spreading over her body.

"Did I ever tell you how stunningly beautiful you are?" he whispered kissing her flushed cheek.

"Every day" she replied as her lips curled up.

"That doesn´t sound often enough"

"Sweet talker" she giggled.

Sam smiled against her skin, once again trailing sweet kisses down her shoulder to her breasts, teasingly rubbing himself against her, knowing that would put her over the edge.

Her body immediately jolted and she moaned loudly, arching her head back "Oh, God. Suck on them baby. Take me. I need you to fuck me"

"I will sexy" he replied, leaning to place a passionate kiss on her lips "I´m gonna make you come"

Donna responded forcefully, wildly exploring his mouth with her tongue. Unwillingly, she groaned in despair when he broke the kiss and left the bed, to grab the bottle of champagne. Gathering all her will power to keep lying on the bed and not jump on him –she was also curious about his intentions-, she ran her eyes up and down his body, stopping at the middle to stare at his behind.

"Come back here right now Mr. Sexy Ass" Donna smirked, beckoning him with her finger when he looked back at her.

"Sexy ass, huh?" Sam chuckled, looking away again and pouring champagne for them both slowly, as he knew she was still watching him up and down.

"Of course, what else would you think I married you?"

He turned to her and his mouth fell open, which resulted in Donna bursting out laughing frantically. Pouting, he walked to the bed and sat next to her, handing one of the flutes to his wife.

"Poor me, who actually love you"

Donna grabbed her drink and took a sip slowly, watching him do the same and the bubbly liquid slid past his inviting lips to his throat, resisting the terrible urge to make something very different slide into his mouth.

"I love you sweetheart" she whispered, leaning in to kiss him softly.

"I love you too Goddess"

"Mmmm" she smiled "You taste good"

"You too" he moaned, deepening the kiss, and pushing her to lay back in the bed. Moaning softly, she pulled him to lay on top of her again.

"And what are you trying now my love?"

Not replying, he put his flute away, and took hers too, letting it down on the night table. Donna immediately wrapped her arms around his neck, when he deepened the kiss once more as he slid himself into her gently.

"Are you okay baby?" he asked, rocking slowly

"I´m… perfect" she moaned, quite unaware of what he asked.

Unable to hold any longer, Sam upped the pace quickly, reaching deeper with every move. All the time he was looking at her face, because he loved to see how her cheeks flushed and her lips slightly parted when she reached the intended depths of pleasure and because he wanted to see the signs if he was causing her any pain.

"Oh Goooooooooooooood you are so good" Donna moaned, starting another passionate kiss and wrapping her legs around his waist.

"Ooh, fuck, you feel so good" he replied, thrusting deeply "So welcoming and warm"

"For you" she moans "And no one else"

"Mmmm… yes" he groans, trailing his kisses down her skin again "You´re mine only"

"Go harder honey. I want your love. I want your lover revenge"

"Oh, you´re a naughty girl Mrs. Carmichael" he whispered, still moving faster.

"And I need a bad boy" she giggles, finding his lips again and catching them in a feverish kiss "I didn´t say you could stop kissing me"

He responded passionately, savoring the champagne taste left on her lips and going harder, reaching deeper with every move.

She kissed him forcefully, with a hunger and passion she didn´t know she had before, sliding her legs up a bit more to give him further access.

"Oh, my God" she moaned loudly, tilting her head back when her back arched, frantically running her hand through his hair.

"Come for me gorgeous, I know you are close" he groaned, kissing and sucking her neck, leaving her a visible love bite.

"I will baby. Go deeper, I want you fully inside of me"

Taking her leg, he put it over his shoulder and kissed her again, trying hard to hold himself until he had fulfilled her needs.

_Think of something cold, think of something cold._ He repeated to himself. _Like snow and the reindeer with the red nose_.

"Oh f… fu…" she started, trashing her head from side to said, but a loud moan escaped her and she couldn´t finish the word.

_Oh, no, Donna, God, don´t say it. You´re going to make me come. _He thought, with a long groan that gave him the strength to wait for her.

"Oh, yes, Saaammm" she moaned loudly, as she reached her climax and collapsed into the bed.

Soon after, he did so and released himself into her, collapsing into the bed beside his wife. For a moment, silence allowed them to get their breath back.

Donna cuddled up to him and kissed his cheek softly, grabbing her champagne and handing him his.

He smiled taking it and sat up, as Donna immediately sat between his legs, leaning on his chest. She knew their intimacy was a very important part of their relationship, and always tried to take everything out of it. She enjoyed talking to him, she enjoyed watching him, she enjoyed it when she laid in his arms, she enjoyed making out with him, she enjoyed making love with him. She loved him.

Sighing happily, Donna twirled the flute on her hand lost in her thoughts, staring at the bubbly liquid in it, until she finally took a sip and placed a soft thank you kiss in Sam´s lips.

"This is hot" she giggled, smiling against his lips.

"Oh, it is. You are a hot sexy goddess" he whispered, kissing her passionately again.

Donna responded deeply, unable to believe how he could make her world seem so perfect.

"I actually meant my drink, honey" she laughed breaking apart "And now you completely ruined the moment"

"Why?"

"I was going to say you make me feel complete" she pouts.

"But?"

"But now the romance is gone"

"No. it´s not gone anywhere" he smirked, leaning close the kiss her, but she turned her face so his lips brushed her cheek.

"You´re not fun, Carmichael" he laughed.

"I disagree baby. I just had a lot of fun" she answered with a cheeky grin.

"Oh, you did, huh?"

"I did, I´m a very naughty girl" Donna nodded seriously.

"Oh, I agree. A naughty girl who needs her bad boy"

"Yup" she giggled "Very much"

"Do this naughty girl want to have fun again?" he smirked, dropping all the content of his flute over her body and pulling her to lay down again.

"Oh, you are incorrigible Carmichael" she laughed, trying to wriggle free.

...

_Ten months later…_

Donna kneeled on her bedroom´s floor, extending her arms to Athos, who was giggling as he climbed to his feet holding onto a chair

"I love you my baby. Come to mama"

"Ma" he said, bouncing up and down "Ma-ma"

"Oh my God! What did you just say?"

"Ma" he repeated giggling and walking to her.

Donna hugged him tightly, picking him up and filling his face with kisses "Wow, you are so clever my little miracle"

He laughed wildly, as Donna spun him around. She smiled widely, watching him wave his arms happily.

She pulled him down onto her arms again and kissed his head, as he calmed down and leaned his head on her shoulder "I can´t tell you how much I really love you. You and your father"

"And we love you too, sweetheart" Sam smiled at them.

Donna walked to him, placing a loving kiss on his cheek "Hey baby"

"Da- dada" Athos then said, pointing to him.

"Yes, he´s daddy" Donna kissed his nose.

"Wow, when did he learn that?"

"I think a few minutes ago"

"I´m so proud of you little man"

"Yes, he is still two weeks away from being one and he can already talk" she smiled lovingly, cuddling him in her arms.

"Can I give him his bath today?"

"Of course you can. Just be careful the water is not too cold, don´t let the floor get wet so you won´t slip, use the hypoallergenic soap, don´t let the soap get into his eyes, hand him…"

Sam kissed her before she could finish, and Donna forgot her words to kiss him back, until the child started clapping and cooing to get their attention back to him.

"I know baby, he will be fine"

"And hand him his duck to play on the water" she finished giggling as Athos extended his arms to him.

"I will" Sam smiled, taking the baby to the nursery. He cuddled up to Sam and extended his arms again, expecting Donna would follow them.

"I´ll see you soon my angel" she smiled softly and blew him a kiss

She lovingly watched them go and grabbed her robe, planning to get in for a shower herself, to wear a nice dress and surprise her husband. She picked a lovely black dress, backless and knee long, with a very low neckline that would hang on her right places and make her look stunning. She hummed to herself, putting it down on the bed and going to her dresser to get the box with her pearl necklace and earrings.

"Hey aunt Donna" Azaria smiled walking in. Donna stopped brushing her hair and smiled back at her.

"Hey Sweetie"

"Would you read me a story?" she pleaded, sitting in the bed and looking at her with her big blue eyes.

"Of course I will baby" Donna smiled again, as her heart melted at the sight of the little girl and she sat down too, cuddling her closely and kissing her head "What story would you like?"

"The three musketeers, you said it´s good" she replied, snuggling up into Donna´s arms.

Donna nodded and extended her hand to get the book from the shelf next to her bed. As soon as she opened it, a piece of paper fell down and she picked it up from the floor, unfolding the note, written in that neat small handwriting she knew very well:

"_Darling mama_"

...

Ooohhhhh... cliffhanger... : What lies beneath. Review if you want to find out :)


	11. Ch XI: What about trust?

**Ch. XI: What about trust?**

xxx

Here´s the next chapter! :D Finally! Sorry it took so long, writer´s block :S

Thanks to my dynamos for making me write it! :)

And to my soul sis!

Loves xxxxxx

xxx

"_Dear mama:_

_I love you so much! And I know you´re going to miss me. Please don´t. You will be fine. I really hope you will be happy hence fore._

_So many things had happened I never told you about. And I don´t want to talk about it now neither. It doesn´t matter. It´s all past now and it must be forgotten._

_You´ve always been so good to me, you gave your life away for me mummy, and it´s my turn to do something in return._

_I… am giving you a second chance. Be happy, do it for me._

_I know Sam loves you, I know you love him. Jump into it and for once, give you a chance to enjoy love._

_Have more kids with him, give them all your love. Don´t leave lovely Athos alone._

_I will always be by your side, even when you can´t see me._

_I will always love you, beyond words._

_I wish I could hug you now._

_Don´t wonder why I did it, don´t blame yourself. I am fine, I will be fine. And it is not your fault._

_You will always keep me alive._

_I don´t know how long will you take to find this, but whenever it is, nothing will change._

_I will always be your baby girl, You will always be my mummy. And you were perfect._

_Be perfect to Athos too, and to your other kids to come._

_Find a place tonight and go have a nice dinner with Sam, make love to him, have a good time._

_Make it a moment you will never forget._

_Go wherever you want._

_Follow your dreams._

_And have the life you never had._

_Your Soph_

_xxxxxxx_"

Donna´s hand was shaking when she put the letter down. She literally couldn´t breathe and constant tears were cascading down her cheeks. She was absolutely shattered.

Scared, Azaria cuddled up to her and hugged her "What's wrong aunty Donna?"

"I… I… " she babbled, not knowing what to say or how, immediately bursting out crying bitterly.

Yes, losing Sam have hurt her way beyond words can describe, and getting him back made her heavenly happy, but not all the pain she ever felt before together compared to the hole she felt in her heart. It physically hurt. Unaware of her actions she raised her hand to her burning chest and screamed loudly.

_No. My own daughter. No. I killed my own baby._

"Noooooooooo!"

The word was barely audible below her sobs, she had no air in her lungs, no strength, but yet the pain, so easily perceivable, was terribly heart breaking.

Azaria looked up at her and crawled back confused. She left the room to look for Sam.

Donna never thought she would really get over Sophie´s death, never, but now, knowing she was responsible of it in that way, knowing her hands were stained with her daughter´s still fresh blood was something her mind couldn´t bear.

She couldn´t breathe, she didn´t have the will to. She didn´t want to live with her death over her shoulders. The pain was deeply maddening and all she could do was cry and scream, no logical words coming out of her.

She hugged a pillow and continued crying, rocking back and forth over the bed.

_She can´t be death. She can´t be gone like this._

"I want my baby girl, I want my baby girl"

Hours later, her river of tears slowly became a quiet sob, and Donna very lightly started to doze.

She wanted to sleep.

And never come back.

It was then when Sam came in, with a sleeping Athos in his arms. He smiled to the child peacefully sleeping and kissed his head.

Seeing Donna lying so still he thought she was asleep, and walked in quietly. But looking at her a second time he noticed the swollen eyes, the tears in her face, her absent gaze and the way she didn´t even flinch hearing him come in.

He carefully placed the child down on the bed and went to her.

"Baby?" he whispered softly, placing his hand on her arm.

Pushing his hand away violently, she stood and faced her back to him, not speaking a word.

Completely confused, he wrapped her arms around her waist and placed a tender kiss on her neck "Are you okay, princess?"

Pushing him away again, Donna turned to face Sam and narrowed her eyes, with such hatred and despite in her look, he should have taken it as a sign to retreat.

"D-Donna…" he frowned, trying again.

Biting her lips, she slapped her hand across his face harshly.

"How do you dare…?"

He looked up at her in disbelief, starting to get annoyed at her attitude and rubbing his face with his hand "What the hell is wrong with you Donatella?"

She frowned, knowing he only called her Donatella in that tone when he was upset.

She took the letter and crumpled it up in her hand, throwing it to him.

"You bastard!" she started crying again "You killed her, you lied to me, you knew it and you didn´t tell me… you allowed her to do it"

Still quite unaware of what was she talking about, he straightened the piece of paper in his hands and started reading, as his face gradually turned more and more white with every word. He never thought Donna would find out.

He never knew Sophie could have written a note.

He… never knew she was planning to kill herself.

_It was a fucking accident!_

_Did she jump in front of that car on purpose…? _

The driver certainly said she did. Of course Sam didn´t believe it, he killed his daughter and, Sam wasn´t going to forget it. For him, he would always be the one responsible for Sophie´s death.

_But why in this world is she blaming me?_

With a sigh, he run his hand through his hair and opened his eyes, to look at her, just to notice all the while Donna had been throwing her things into her small blue travel suitcase –the very same he bought for her the first time they went to New York together-. She pulled the zip close hastily and picked up Athos, not with her usual tenderness but with a force that startled and woke the peaceful sleeping toddler, who tiredly looked up at her.

"Ma-ma?"

"What are you doing?" he exclaimed once again in despair, only for her to turn her back at him "Can you give me a fucking answer woman?"

"Leaving" she hissed in a low tone, ever more upset at the fact he used a swear word with her, something he had never done before.

"What, Donna, wait, can you cool down?"

"Don´t tell me to be cool, I am cool!"

"You can´t just take him away from me"

"I´m his mother Sam, he´s coming with me"

"I am his father, I have rights too" he frowned, for the first time wanting to slap his hand across her face –or his own-, wanting to wake up. Someone must have been sleeping, it was all a nightmare "Stop this right now Donna"

_She can´t be seriously leaving me, after all the time we waited, after everything we shared…_

"Sue me" she muttered, slamming the door shut behind her

He stood motionless, staring at the door in utter disbelief. He couldn´t believe his beautiful loving wife had just left. That wasn´t like her at all. Something was wrong. Really wrong.

"Where are you going Donna?" he sighed.

After picking up Athos bag and descending the stairs like a bullet, Donna rushed through the reception area and left the place, as a very confused Pepper followed her with his eyes. He had never seen her so mad, so sad, so upset. This certainly wasn´t good. And for a moment he thought about following her.

Donna was completely capable to hold herself together as she boarded the ferry with Athos and they reached the mainland. All the way long he had his big blue eyes fixed on his mother. That wasn´t the sweet loving mummy he always knew and he started to feel scared.

"Oh baby" she sighed, holding him close and running her hands softly through his beautiful golden hair "I love you"

"Ma-ma" he smiled, hugging her.

Donna hugged him back tightly, taking deep breaths to prevent the sobs that were making her chest raise and fall from becoming into tears. She hated to cry, but trying to stop was simply useless.

Once they arrived, she hastily descended from the ferry and headed to her favorite Hotel in the town, the one she was working in when she had Sophie. It wasn´t Sophia´s anymore-it had been bought by a huge company-, but it still brought quite good memories to her. And she didn´t have any other place to go to. She had no other family but her baby boy and her friends were too far away –not to mention, they sure also knew about the whole situation and didn´t tell her neither-. And since the day Sam Carmichael abandoned her and her mother told her not to bother coming back, Donna Sheridan had never felt so helpless as she did that night. In the middle of the way she took her blackberry out from her pocket and looked at the black screen. She had turned it off after the first time Sam tried to call her.

"You´re everything I have now little man" she whispered softly, kissing his head

She sighed again, replacing the phone on his pocket. It was Sam´s first Christmas gift to her and staring at it wouldn´t make Donna feel any better. Just then, it started to rain.

Donna rushed in, escaping from the increasing waterfall and bit her lower lip worriedly, taking her tiem to look around. The place had changed so much! Even the name… it wasn´t the same anymore. But she should have known, she hadn´t been there for ages.

"Good morning Mrs…" the receptionist smiled, not knowing her last name.

_She´s certainly new._

"Carmichael…" Donna tried to smile "Carmichael. Do you have a free room?"

"Yes madam, a suite on the tenth floor. Single rooms are all taken"

"It´s fine. I´ll take it"

"That´s two hundred dollars Mrs. Carmichael"

Taking her wallet from her Prada black bag, Donna handed her a credit card, the one Sam helped her to get to herself and under her own name. She knew there wasn´t enough cash in her wallet to pay such amount.

The blonde receptionist passed it on her machine and it beeped an error. She tried a second and a third time. Same result.

"I´m sorry, Mrs. Do you have another card?"

"Shit!" Donna cursed under her breath as the woman passed the card back and Athos cooed trying to grab the shiny plastic. Sighing deeply, Donna put it back into her wallet and handed her the other one, that was actually under Sam´s name.

_Oh, my God. How could I forget it? _That stupid decision of re stocking the bar like that and getting Pepper his wedding present as soon as she heard about his engagement to a local young girl. She hated it when she had to ask Sam for money, that wasn´t the reason she married him, and everything he had paid was or present he bought for her or something they needed for Athos. He was her only reason to ask her husband for money and she wasn´t planning to do it in any other circumstances whatsoever. And now she forgot to ask Tanya for the loan she needed to pay that bill. _Shit, shit, shit._

"Welcome to the Greece Inn, Mrs. Carmichael. Here you go room 1024" she smiled handing her the card back and the keys "You can have your breakfast from seven to eleven and you have to check out by noon, unless you´re staying for another day"

"Thank you. Please don´t let anyone know I´m here"

As the girl nodded, Donna entered the elevator with her baby and her luggage and they reached the indicated floor. It was all new for little Athos and his eyes were wide open looking around

She put the "No disturb" sign on the door and collapsed on the bed, unable to restraint her tears anymore. Her heart felt so heavy on her chest… She just wished she could bury it, and don´t feel a thing. Don´t miss her daughter, don´t love her husband. Don´t feel like drowning in all that pain.

"Why did you do it Sophie? Why did you leave me?" she sobbed bitterly, curled up into a ball "I hate you, I hate you, why did you let her do it? Why didn´t you stop her? Why did you lie to me? I… can´t do this anymore. It´s too much… It´s too much…"

Unaware of her mother´s suffering, Athos reached for his bottle inside the light blue bag and handed it to her, asking to be fed.

"Ma-ma?" he said softly, showing it to her.

Wiping her tears, Donna picked her broken heart up together for him and tried to smile, grabbing the bottle and reaching for the formula milk to mix it up. She had to stay strong for him, so she just walked to the minibar and got herself a shot of brandy. Finally, once the warm sensation of the liquid running down her throat started numbing her senses, she heated the milk for her baby boy. After changing his diapers, she cuddled with him on the bed, leaning on the headboard and fed the child.

He eat happily, unaware of everything around him and the pain in her mother´s heart. He grabbed her hand and played with her fingers, hungrily drinking the milk. The sweet sight of her adored baby in her arm was a light relief of the devastating pressure inside her chest.

Donna placed a sweet kiss in his head and slowly, they both fell asleep, exhausted.

….

That was the last thing Donna remembered when the constant banging on the door woke her up the next morning. Her tired eyes fluttered open slowly and she walked to the door, placing little Athos –who was still asleep in her arms- down on the comfy coach on the anteroom and unlocked the door, pulling in open.

"I specifically asked not to be disturbed…" she started, as Sam pulled the door opened further and walked in "W-what are you doing here? H-how did you find me?"

"You used my card Donna, I only had to check. Baby, I came here to get you back because I love you, and our son"

"I asked them not to tell where I was" she frowned, walking back into the room.

He immediately followed, closing the antechamber door behind him.

Donna intended to tell him to leave, but the word died on her throat as the need to cry strangled her. The love she felt for him was still so strong.

Taking advantage of her silence, he wrapped his arms around her waist to pull her closer and kissed her neck seductively.

"I meant what I said Donna. I love you so very much baby, I would never hurt you"

Silent tears damped her cheeks, and she actually opened her mouth to reply. But quickly enough, before any word came, he turned her around in his arms and kissed her passionately.

Donna didn´t have the strength to fight. She loved him, she needed him, she wanted him. And her heart would always belong to him, even when her mind could tell her otherwise. So she responded forcefully, as her arms quickly snaked around his neck.

He slid his hands down her back, and squeezed her rear, making a soft moan escape her lips as his growing arousal pressed against her inner thigh. It was obvious she couldn´t resist.

His charm had an overwhelming power over her she couldn´t deny. The way he kissed her, the feeling of their tongues tangled together, the delicious sensation of his hands exploring every inch of her skin, the incredible pleasure when he finally fulfilled her. Only the thought of it made her weak at the knees.

In just a few minutes, he had succeeded making her surrender to her deepest lustful desires. Her sexual drive was completely awake when her lips opened to him and soon enough their tongues were fighting for control. Donna was barely aware from it when her hands cascaded down his chest to his waist, pulling the zip down until the pants pooled at his feet. There was nothing in her head but the deep urge of him

Sam stepped out of them and picking her up, he pinned Donna against the wall, feeling how her legs wrapped instinctively around his waist.

"You´re so beautiful my love" he whispered, trailing his kisses down and unbuttoning her dress until her bare breasts where exposed to him. He flicked his tongue out, determined to take his time with her, but the way she yanked his boxers down and her heavy irregular breathing pushing on her chest told him she wasn´t in the mood to make her wait.

"F-fuck me Sam" she moaned breathlessly when he carried on the ministrations on her breasts, taking her nipple on his mouth and his fingers slid inside her panties. Her body writhed at his touch, and her lips immediately found his again, in a hungry kiss that managed to distract his attention.

"I´ll… make you… come… baby" he moaned too, adjusting her slip

"Take mee" She moaned, when her legs instinctively tightened around his waist and his solid length brushed her entrance. But unable to wait, she grabbed him herself and slowly led him to fill her completely.

"Oh Doonnnaaaaa" he groaned, kissing her deeply.

She responded, equally lost in the moment and completely guided by her sexual desires sent to overdrive by the only man that could have such an effect over her.

Her legs tightened even more around his body when his slow thrust didn´t speed up fast enough.

"Go deeper… I need you hard" she moaned loudly.

"I will baby, I love you… so much… my goddess" he moaned too, obeying to her wish.

Her back arched as he took her closer and closer to the edge and his kisses trailed down her neck again.

"I´m.. so… Oooohhh"

Her words were interrupted as she reached a mind-blowing climax and collapsed into his arms, barely breathing.

He followed soon after, releasing himself onto her with a last long moan.

None of them spoke, as he just held her close and kissed her head. His hand was soothingly running up and down her back.

The autumn breeze coming in from the open window was cooling the room and a few moments later Donna started to shiver, unwilling to move but already regretting what she just did.

_God, what did I do? I have to leave him… It´s all his fault… Why, oh why is so hard for me to resist him?_

Donna looked up at him to say something, but he pecked her lips to stop her and gently put her back down.

"Go dress sweetheart, so we can go back home"

She slowly put her panties back on and slid into a pair of tight jeans she got from her suitcase.

Sam smiled, eyeing her up and down as he slowly redressed himself too. He was absolutely in love with his wife and couldn't conceive to spend a single day apart from her. She was sweet, loving, perfect… and the previous night had been a stupid misunderstanding. Everything was back to normal.

Or so thought he.

She clipped her bra and slid a black sweater on, then turning away to face him. Her clothes hung gracefully on her slim womanly curves and she was certainly looking gorgeous. He always found her beauty breath-taking and he was still bewitched by her just as the very same day.

"Where not going anywhere Sam" she stated, resting her hands on her hips

"W-What?" he asked in a whisper, looking up at her again when his belt was finally done.

"I´m not going back. Just because you fucked me it doesn´t mean everything is alright. I want a divorce"

"Are you nuts Donna? I´m not going to divorce you"

"Go away Sam, it´s over. Don´t make me lose my temper"

"Lose your temper? Donna, you´re my wife, I adore you, and Athos is my son, I love him too. We can´t be over"

"Sam, I´m nothing like yours. I can´t believe you did this to me, you broke my heart" she whispered between tears.

"What have I done baby?" he asked softly, walking to her, wanting to sooth her, his heart breaking too at the thought he could have hurt her.

But the quiet tone just made her worst.

"You let her die!" she shouted "You killed her! And you let me have her heart! I… hate… you!"

"Donna, I, oh my god, she…" he started, walking closer to her, taken by surprise and unsure about what to say. We wasn´t expecting such a reaction from her, he thought she would have calmed down.

"Go away!" she shouted again, giving a step backwards and grabbing a glass from the night table which had contained the scotch she drank the night before to fall asleep.

She screamed in angst, despaired, when he didn´t move, and her plaintive voice sounded like a wounded animal grieving. She firmly grabbed the glass and threw it against him, but he moved and it crashed against the wall, next to his head.

"Leave me aloneeeee"

"No" he firmly said, walking quickly to her so she was baked against the wall. He wasn´t going to abandon the woman of his life, he wouldn´t let her go.

Furious, Donna raised her hand to slap it across his face again, but he grabbed her wrist firmly to stop her, yet not tight enough to hurt her

"Donna, you need help"

xxx

O.o Donna needs help! Click the buton if you want more!

A/N: I know you´re reading, please post a comment! It will mean a lot! xxxx 333


	12. Chapter 12: Nothing will harm you

**Chapter XII: Nothing will harm you.**

_Happy birthday to my soul sis :D *sending huge yummy chocolate cake*  
_

_I wish all the best for you and hope you have a wonderful day!_

_Thank you for your friendship! :D_

_And I hope someday we can meet!_

_Love you lots and lots old lady!_

_You can have our boyfriend for the day :P_

_(I got your present on time, yay)  
_

_I know this is short… and it's not good. But please let me know what you think._

_xxxx_

"Help?" Donna hissed, yanking her hand free from his grip.

Sam just sighed, running his hand through his hair.

"I… Donna, I…. I love you so much baby… I´m sorry…"

Hiding her face in her hands, she turned around and started crying.

"I… can´t… believe it. Why did you let her do it? Why did you let them put her heart on me? Why? I just can´t forgive that…"

"Donna that is not true, it was an accident"

"But she wrote that letter, it can´t be true…"

"I would never do something like that Donna. Nothing will harm you, not whilst I´m around"

"I think, I… There´s not much anyone can do to harm me anymore"

"I love you my sweet baby" he repeated softly, wrapping his arms around her from behind.

Placing a gentle kiss on her neck, he turned her around in his arms and slowly wiped away her tears. Donna opened her mouth to say something but he stopped her, placing his lips on hers in a sweet gentle kiss that held her captive in his arms.

And she had only one thing to say.

"I love you" Donna mumbled softly against his lips.

"And I´m the happiest man on earth because you do"

"I´m sorry, I know is not your fault… It´s mine…"

"Shut up" he whispered, kissing her again. Not gentle. Not sweet. But deep and passionate as he held her tight and close, desperate keep her away from her pain.

And Donna´s mind went blank. She forgot the hurt. She forgot her rage. She forgot the void and the lost. There was nothing but the man she so deeply loved and the fact he happened to love her back. Because, oh yes, she never held a doubt he was head over heels in love with her. And right against his chest and beneath his arms were the rightest place on earth to be.

She didn´t let him break apart, wrapping her arms around his neck and holding him close as her last breath, mesmerized by the ocean of peace he just washed over the black despair of her soul.

Until they heard Athos crying in the next room.

And before Donna realized it and asked him not to leave her, he ran away and picked up the baby.

The toddler calmed down as soon as his father picked him up, and Sam cradled his son against his chest.

"Don´t take him away" Donna pleaded through her wet eyes as she hurried in behind her husband.

"Hey, Donna, he´s not going anywhere, and neither am I"

"Ma-ma" Athos then smiled, pointing to her.

"Aww, yes, my darling. I´m your mummy" Donna smiled sweetly, picking him up, as the boy clapped celebrating his shrewdness.

Donna held him close and kissed his head tenderly.

"And mummy loves you very much sweetie"

Sam wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer, so his lips brushed her forehead.

"Come on Donna bear, you need a good night sleep"

"I guess I do. Thank you"

"You have nothing to thank me for"

"Oh yes I do because you have saved me when I needed it the most, and not just once"

"And I will do so a thousand times again if you need me to"

"Don´t leave me… Don´t leave me please"

"Baby, I´ll never in my life make that mistake twice"

"I´m so scared"

"You are not alone sweetheart, I´m here. I´m here"

Stroking his cheek gently she smiled to him.

"Do I get a kiss?"

"Your wish is my command darling"

Pulling her close lightly, Sam slowly brushed his lips against her in a tender caress and unspoken promise of eternal adoration and everlasting love.

He gently ushered her to the bed and helped her to lay down, taking Athos in his arms again.

"You rest, I´ll put him to sleep"

She nodded slowly as the baby cooed, protesting to his father´s plans of putting him back to sleep.

And she was lost in an exhausted dream before her head ever reached the pillow.

"Ouch!" Donna exclaimed a few hours later, when she was woken by someone pulling at her hair.

She opened her eyes to meet her giggling baby boy.

"What are you doing little monkey?" she smiled, pulling him close for a hug, then noticing Sam sound asleep right beside her.

He responded giggling more and kicking his legs.

"Are you hungry?" she asked, hearing his stomach grunt. He cooed vehemently.

Standing up, she grabbed the bottle and milk from the bag and placed it on the heater, as Athos cooed more and tried to grab it.

"Not yet darling, let it heat" she said softly, pulling him away and giggling as he pouted in response "Do you think we should wake daddy?"

"Daddy is very much awake" Sam whispered and turned to face them.

"Hello" Donna smiled shyly.

"Hello gorgeous" he smiled back, leaning closer to kiss her softy.

Donna responded to his kiss briefly and looked down, tick heavy tears sliding down her cheeks. All of a sudden and with no reason at all, Sophie was again filling her head completely. Her daughter was a part of her that she would never be able to put behind. She wasn´t and she never would be ready to bury her, without burying herself too. Noticing it, Athos cooed and looked at her dad, pointing to her.

She lifted the baby and placed him on her husband's arms.

"I… just… I" she started, barely breathing.

Sam tried to reach her hand, but his wife ran away and locked herself in the bathroom before he could do so, leaning against the door and sliding to the floor. He could clearly hear her sobbing on the other side. Sighing, he knocked on the door knowing already she wouldn´t answer. Those outbursts of her were maddening to him because he felt completely powerless and he hated seeing her so terribly sad. He would have given everything just to see her smile. To make her happy.

"Open up Donna. I won't stop until you do"

She started crying louder, but didn´t reply. Sam ran his hands through his hair and whispered "I just want to hold you"

"Ma-ma" Athos called, noticing he could hear but not see her "Ma-ma"

"You want your mummy baby boy? I want her too.

"Ma-ma" he repeated and pouted. There wasn´t a reply and the child burst down crying.

"I can´t do this Sam" Donna cried with a shallow voice, unaware of her child´s tears "I can´t live with my dead daughter´s heart. I can´t. She should be living with mine. I want to die. I just want to die"

"Donna, we all love Sophie, but we can´t change the accident that killed her. It is not your fault" he replied, rocking Athos to sooth him.

"She was my baby and I wasn´t there for her… She was my baby" Donna slowly uttered, the angst in her voice soul-shattering "She should be alive, not me"

"Please open up Donna, please, Athos needs to see you. Don´t do this to him… he is your baby too"

Sam held the baby close, hoping his wife would come out for their kid.

He gave a sigh of relief when he heard the door slowly unlocking.

"I love you Donna bear, you are everything for me… Don´t…"

When she appeared on the threshold, Athos smiled and extended his arms to her.

"I love…" she started, raising her hand to her chest "I love… I…"

No other word left her lips and everything turned black. Her chest hurt. There wasn´t enough air.

She fainted.

_A/N: Want more? Click the button :D_


	13. Knocked up

**LOVE IS STILL THE ONLY DREAM I KNOW.**

**CHAPTER XIII: KNOCKED UP.**

**I´m sorry I took so long to review and I hope you enjoy this.**

**Thanks a lot to my genius Gem for beta reading this for me. You are the best ever!**

**And thanks for my darling Meral for all her support and appreciation :D Get well soon hun!**

**Love you both!**

**AND have an awesome 2012!**

Seeing his mother on the floor, little Athos broke down crying. Sam put him down, trying to keep the head cold and do the right thing. He needed to save his wife. He had to save his son´s mother. The child crawled to his mother and attempted to pull at her hand, trying to wake her up. It barely moved.

"Ma-ma? Ma-ma?"

Sam sighed, mortified at the heart-breaking sight, and grabbed the phone. He assumed calling an ambulance would be better than taking her there himself since he couldn´t abandon Athos. They said it wouldn´t take over fifteen minutes. He hung up and picked up his son, cuddling him close.

"Don´t cry, Athos. Mommy will be fine."

"Ma-ma, ma-ma." He kept sobbing, pointing at Donna with his little hand.

"I know. We both want mama back."

Sam stroked her hair and placed it behind her ear. He caressed her cheek, her jaw, her soft lips. She was so… beautiful. It couldn´t be happening. He couldn´t cope with the idea of losing her.

"Be strong, my love, don´t leave. Hold on, for us. We love you. We need you. Stay with us. We love you so much."

He kissed her softly and cradled the baby closer. The toddler calmed down and closed his eyes, his worries softened by his father´s presence. The paramedics arrived in no time.

"Everything will be fine, little man."

.-.-.-.-.-

Sam sat in the waiting room with a restful Athos in his arms. The baby was sound asleep over his lap and he had been waiting for news for what seemed like ages. Stopping the increasing despair was not easy. To help ease the tension, he called the Villa to check on Azaria. He had left her with the cooking lady, promising he wouldn´t take long and he was growing worried. He talked to the girl, tried to sooth her down and promised a nice reward if she behaved properly, as the big girl she was. She asked for a wonder woman doll. _Great. A superhero doll. Where will I get one?_

For so many years, since his break-up with Lorraine, he survived as a bachelor, and now… he just didn't seem capable to do anything without Donna. Fortunately, Azaria was fine and eating her cereal. She was no trouble.

For the first time he felt it would be a relief to have even Tanya or Rosie around. Anyone to keep him company and talk to. But they were both miles away and worrying them with a call would be senseless, at least until he was told what was going on for sure. So a lonely wait it would be. He just needed anything to get away from his thoughts before they made his heart explode.

Sam focused on the TV, hoping it would help. They had it on some movie channel where they were showing a very praised film, The Iron Lady. He tried to pay attention to the movie and put a great effort to enjoy it. It was an extraordinary character. It was a wonderful actress. IT was a fabulous presentation. If they said Meryl Streep was the best living actress, she deserved it. He often wondered who was the non-living actress who deprived Streep from the _best actress ever _title. He thought she was so. **(A/N: Just as I wonder myself…!)**

The movie was awesome, and she indeed deserved the standing ovation. Especially because it kept his mind busy.

Athos then slowly awakened and yawned. Just in time.

"Hey, little man."

The baby responded with a loud, high-pitched cry. Sam sighed and started rocking him in his arms. What else was there to do?

"Don´t cry, don´t cry. Everything is fine. I´m here and mommy will be back soon. There´s nothing to worry about."

He tried pacing around, but his lungs didn´t take it any easier. He even tried singing, but nothing. He wasn´t Donna, he didn´t have her magic touch. _She´s my angel… she can´t be gone._ It wasn´t until Athos brought his little fist to his mouth that he realized it.

"Oh, that´s it. You´re hungry."

His agreement showed by crying harder. Sam sat down again and got the milk and the bottle out of the baby bag. He put the milk on the heating device and the baby finally calmed down when he was fed the warm white liquid. He realized having a baby as a single parent was hard. Finally, something made him oblivious of the situation and he didn´t see the nurse approaching him. She cleared his throat.

"Mr. Carmichael."

He turned to face her.

"Yes, yes. It´s me. How´s my wife? Will she be fine?"

"Well, she will feel dizzy and sick, and she might faint again. It will be long, it will hurt, but, yes, she will be fine at the end."

"Thank you. That´s amazing news. Thank you."

_Wait… what will be long and what will hurt?_

She smiled. "You´re welcome. And congratulations."

"What?" Sam asked perplexed. The nurse took Athos little hand.

"Seems you´re going to become a big brother, little one."

Athos giggled. Sam´s jaw dropped a mile. He repeated his question.

"What on Earth…?"

She gasped in surprise.

"Oh, my, you didn´t know yet. I´m sorry. I´m so sorry. She´s pregnant, Mr. Carmichael. That´s it. She will be really fine. She´s just… well, having a new baby."

"How long is she gone?"

"Three months."

"And everything is alright?"

"As far as we´re gone, yes. She and the baby are perfectly healthy."

"She has a heart condition. Is her heart fine?"

"Yes, her history said so. But we didn´t find any problem there."

"Oh, God, oh, God, this is so good. So we´re having another baby. That´s it."

"Yes, you are. Yay…!"

"Can we see her?"

"She´s still sedated, but yes, you can. She´s in room number 403."

"Thanks."

"Uhm… Mister, don´t you want me to take the baby to the nursery…?"

"No, he´s coming with me."

"But Mrs. Carmichael really needs to rest."

"She will really want to see her son."

With those words, he walked away quickly.

.-.-.-.-.-

Even when it was hard -eagerness was killing him- Sam waited for Athos to finish his bottle before he walked into the room. They would be less noisy then.

"We have to be very quiet, Athos. We can´t wake mommy."

He responded cooing and shaking his legs.

"Okay, I´ll take that as _understood_, Athos."

Sam slowly opened the door and saw Donna lying on the bed, with only a drip connected to her arm. The relief grew bigger and air seemed to finally flow in.

"Ma-ma." The little boy said. "Ma-ma, ma-ma."

"Yes, that´s mommy and she needs her sleep."

Sam smiled and kissed her forehead.

"I´m so proud of you, sweetheart."

Her face and hair were damp. He refreshed her forehead with a fresh cloth and lowered the AC temperature. Athos was frantically shaking his arms, trying to reach his mother. Sam laid the child next to her and wrapped her left arm around him before pulling up the covers. He looked to his mother, then to his father and pointed at her.

"Mommy is here."

Athos turned his attention back to Donna and grabbed a strand of her hair to get it into his mouth. Sam grabbed his hand and took the blond locks away. The kid pouted.

"No, Athos, you don´t eat mommy´s hair."

When his tiny hand reached again for the golden waves over the pillow, Sam moved them away from his reach and held his son´s hand, starting to sing again to get him to sleep. He watched his father intently, listening to every word, until tiredness became too much of a weight and with a cute yawn he surrendered to Morpheus´s land.

"Good boy."

With her child peacefully asleep in her arms, Donna slowly stirred. She blinked to adjust her tired eyes to the piercing light and smiled widely when she saw her baby boy. She kissed the top of his head lovingly and looked up to her husband.

"Were you just singing, baby?"

"I was trying to put him to sleep."

"But… you never sing."

"I don´t have your voice, but I didn´t want him to wake you."

"That is so sweet."

"Oh, yes, he´s so… adorable. Like you."

"I really meant you. You are so good to me and I´m so lucky to have you. And we´re so lucky to have him."

"Yes, we are very, very lucky."

"I´m sorry, I´m deeply sorry. I don´t know what got into me. It just hurts so much, and I… I don´t know what to do. It´s not fair on you, I know."

"You believe me, right? That I didn´t know about that note you found?"

"Yes, I do, I would trust you with my life, babe." She smiled faintly.

"Does that mean I can kiss my wife?"

"Of course you can."

He leaned and pecked her lips softly.

"I love you so much. Thank you for coping with me."

"The thing is I love you more." He shrugged nonchalantly.

"Oh, are we going to argue about that again, Mister?"

"No, we´re not. I win."

"That is not fair."

"It is. Just don´t tell your husband."

"I won´t if you kiss me."

He leaned again, and this time, he kissed her deeply. She moaned, kissing him back.

"Please, promise you will never leave me."

He broke apart slowly and took her free hand in his. His other hand caressed her cheek.

"I will never leave you, my darling Donna. I am not complete without you. I know it´s hard. I nearly lost my mind when I thought I would have to live a single day without you. I know you´ve been on your own for a very long time, and I´ll always blame myself for that. But for the rest of my life, I´ll make it up to you. You will never be alone again. You have me, you have Athos, and…"

"I have you, Athos, and…?"

"Donna, what would you think about having another baby?"

"What?"

"A baby, you know, like Athos. But maybe a little girl."

"Have you lost your mind? I don´t know… I´m old… and I can barely handle _him_." She responded, stroking gently Athos´s head.

"That is completely false. There´s anything you can´t handle, honey; and you´re certainly not old. I can call our bed as a witness there."

"You play dirty." She blushed.

"Only when I play with you."

"Well, thanks to you things are a little easier now, true. But I´m forty already…"

"Forty? Are you joking? I want a divorce. I thought I married a twenty-some." He raised an eyebrow.

She laughed. "Oh, can you imagine, having to run behind two roadrunners?"

"We can hire a sitter if we need one."

"No, no and no. I´m not having a baby for someone else to raise my child. If I do it, we will do it on our own."

"And that´s perfect. We will both do it. It is worth it to have another miracle like this one."

She looked at Athos and cuddled him closer.

"You hit low, you know? I love him with all my heart."

"I know you do, honey. And I do too. I love you both. I´m playing all my cards."

"You really want this, don´t you?"

"Yes, I do. I want a family with you, baby."

"Can I think about it, please? I don´t want to disappoint you, but… this is just too huge."

"Sweetie, you can´t. We´re having a baby. It´s not an option."

"Are you pushing me?" She frowned, upset.

"I am not. I´m informing you."

"I don´t understand."

"Donna, you´re pregnant."

**A/N: Thanks for reading and please review. Xoxo.**


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